Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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A familiar beginning...

LettGoBreathe
LettGoBreathe

We are taking a drinking break... Again. A break from smoking and drinking for 1 month. 


Or so he says. 


Last time we did this was a couple months ago and we only did 10 days. But I get a very good deal on insurance if I pay for next year October 20, so I feel like financially this is the only thing that makes sense. 


I could return the camera I just bought but I would rather not drink and smoke and keep the beautiful camera that I love... And I have been getting increasingly paranoid every time I drink and I want to stop. This is another good reason for us to stop. He has already tried to convince me to return the camera once and I am preparing for the second time.


Does anyone have any tips for 1 month of abstinence. I told him I dont want to go back to drinking but he says he does. So I feel like a failure before we even begin, just counting down the days until chaos. 


I don't want to try AA yet... I just want some support on here. And any tips are appreciated. I'm exhausted and just starting to feel like a normal person after our bender... I'm still paranoid. I still feel like crap. 


It's been a while since I've even gone through 1 weekend sober. I need to do this not just for my wallet but for my mental health as I believe I was experiencing moments of alcohol psychosis. 


My boyfriend doesn't really believe this because I am only 24, and he seems to think only old alcoholics suffer mental and physical alcohol decline because I knew so many. But I have been drinking for a while.


I am rambling again so like I said.... Any support is welcome. I have the apartment to myself tonight and he works, and I can't wait to nap and watch TV and finally just sit in silence without him around. 

LettGoBreathe
LettGoBreathe
Because he knew so many ** not me. He used to go to a bar before he met me that he is now banned from, and knew many alcoholics aged 60 plus still alive and drinking every day.

I need to stop. Badly. I need to find it within myself to sit with the uncomfortable feeling in our relationship now that we'll be sober, and the uncomfortable feeling with myself.
Yard_Eggs
Yard_Eggs
Do you really want to quit drinking?

Do you want to stop drinking and stay stopped for good?

Or do you want to stop drinking long enough for things to get manageable again?

My suggestions vary depending on the answers to these questions.
finallyawakenow
finallyawakenow
I don’t really understand the one month off and then back to the ways that aren’t working? You need to learn what sobriety really means. Abstinence is just the tip of the iceberg. Instead of putting the tv on maybe do some reading tonight and free yourself.
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
I think this might be one step on the learning curve. A beginning, or, an opening if you will... Let us know how it goes. This could potentially help someone else, who is thinking along the same lines. You never know.

God Bless
LettGoBreathe
LettGoBreathe
Thanks for the replies everyone. I just watched a video on codependent relation ships and I noticed a pattern in what she was saying. I fit most of the bulletpoints. I would often times go to the bar with him for the sole reason HE wanted to, and it would be uncomfortable if I said no. I think maybe therapy and learning how to set healthy boundaries will help some... And maybe AA if it doesn't.
Today is day 2 of being sober.

(And no cigarettes!)
Peat
Peat
Alcoholics can stop drinking for a period of time, generally it will fool them to think that they are in control. But when they start drinking again they get back on the same old merry-go-round.

Overall, alcoholism never ever gets better, It always gets worse.

A better test is to try and regulate your drinking, but never get drunk, for that is abusing it. Generally, people enjoy a beer or two and then stop for the day. If a person cannot do this for three months, and without resentment, then they are more likely to have a drinking problem, if not alcoholism.
____________________

I have seen more people relape who gave up everything at once than those that just stopped drinking. Giving up alcohol is hard enough for any alcoholic,

Actually, it's harder than you think. Most alcoholics die from alcoholism, meaning, they return to the drink and often die alone in a very poor physical and mental state. The odds of sobriety without help is very slim indeed.

Sure, there can be a high percentage who recover and stay sober for the first year. Less than half of them won't reach the five year mark. A quarter of them won't get to the ten year mark. After ten years the rate of relapse is much less, and most after ten years will live the rest of their life sober and be very happy and grateful about it.
LettGoBreathe
LettGoBreathe
As if I didn't feel trapped enough....
Really though, I understand. Facts are powerful tools in trying to remain sober. I think each individual and each circumstance is different, though. I may drink too much on the weekends, but I really do crave sober nights spent alone reading, or cooking or watching TV. I love doing yoga when I'm sober, and taking photos. I used to drink heavily but now... I'd rather stay in.... Only I think the biggest issue is with my relationship. It has evolved around drinking. That's all we know how to do together. I think I am a codependant who doesn't like to see someone else uncomfortable or unhappy. I set boundaries sometimes but not the right ones. Maybe I am just in denial.

Again every reply is appreciated all of these inputs are helping me think about this and try and work out how to get out of this stuck stage in my life.
1is2many
1is2many
I didn’t ever want one, I wanted oblivion. See alcohol was great at making my problems go away. Only issue was the problems were still there I was just hiding my head in the sand. I took many breaks. A day , 2days , a month, and once 2 years. I was miserable because I didn’t deal with WHY I drank In The first place.

This time I went thru a process to figure some things out and am sober AND happy.
That’s the truth. I don’t want to go hide today. I face my life and move along

1is2many
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
I try not to talk in statistics because I don't like to discourage people but I can say from my experience, I remember my parents were both weekend alcoholics and since alcoholism is a progressive disease, their weekend drinking turned in to week long binges that, over time would last up to 3 weeks at a time. I knew my mother had sirosis and her days were numbered and when the ambulance came to get her, she had a glass of wine on the end table next to her bed and passed 2 weeks later from hemorrhaging. She was only 52. I had nightmares about that for many years and they didn't stop until I received treatment for my own addiction to drugs and alcohol many years later.

When you said you only drink on weekends, it made me think of that so you may want to watch out for it.

People who are codependent generally benefit from the support they get through AA meetings so you may want to consider that if you are interested in improving your life in the future.

God Bless
stepone
stepone
I suggest reading the stories in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous starting on page 165. Then step one.
jeffneedshelp
jeffneedshelp
Ageeed with StepOne. I always suggest reading the stories before the first 164 pages.
Alice_is_the_red_queen
Alice_is_the_red_queen
Im new to the program again. 4 days sober. I dont drink daily. But ones too many and a millions not enough. If a month is the plan, so be it. But whether it's a month a year a lifetime, we take it one day at a time. I'm always one drink away from where I was so today I didn't take it. There's no magic answer but there is hope when you give it to your HP.
Melody100
Melody100
I have no idea how you can do what you are doing while in thrall to this man, it just looks like a long line of groundhog days to me. If you want to get sober more than anything else then there is a direction you can do to achieve that but until then the outlook is not pleasant. Sorry I cannot offer you any encouragement in your current predicament.
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