Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Here in PA the NEW NORMAL of COVID-19 is just beginning. I am a grateful long-term survivor living with HIV/AIDS for over 25 years and a crazy alcoholic. When I was first diagnosed with HIV I was already full blown AIDS and my doctor told me that he couldn't keep treating me because I was going to kill myself quicker with booze.
30+ years later and 3 treatment centers, jails, house arrest, and now trudging the road to happy destiny via a DUI Court sentence for my 3rd DUI - and 86 days sober - and the fog just now starting to clear (once in a while) I am urged to stay home, no local F2F meetings exist due to COVID-19 - I am living 2 "new normals" - 1) covid-19 world, 2) sobriety.
Having a lot of AA, treatment center, and counseling under my belt and in court ordered counseling etc now again, I know what to say and not to say so that I can continue through the treatment court phases. My ZOOM based individual A&D counselor who is 35 years younger than me and right out of college with now counseling experience hailed great praises for my progress yesterday.
I wonder if I am "faking it to make it" - in a fake way (if that makes any sense).
Last night I had a dream with crack cocaine involved and while I didn't use in the dream I came close and woke up in bed in the dark, alone, and thanking my HP that it was just a dream.
And then after no notification from dailystrength - this morning I see a message from a "friend" who had a drinking dream and honestly and openly shared the experience.
So, here I am, virtually being has honest as I can be, to tell anyone who reads or responds, that after all my attempts at sobriety, and my previous 10+ years of sobriety that ended in 3 DUIs in 3 years, that I am struggling. Not in a need to go out and buy a bottle of vodka but with 1) with my history is it possible for long-term sobriety, and 2) am I truly working this program of AA or am I simply giving it lip service?
I am in contact with my long-term sponsor who has been with me through sobriety and relapse and I get..."your right where you are supposed to be" and "don't be so hard on yourself".
This is really long - I thank everyone who has read this - and welcome any and all feeback and ES&H.
-
check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
-
I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
Just by being here and sharing your story with us, you are working the AA program. Don't worry about perfection. As long as we are human beings, we will never be perfect so we just do the best we can, that's all.
Yes, it is possible to have long term sobriety. What helps me is maintaining contact with my Higher Power through Prayer and meditation, and I do this daily. I give thanks alot and I always try to stay positive and non judgmental...
Those are some things that help me. Thankyou for coming here today. We are happy to have you. If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask.
Good luck on your road to recovery!
God Bless
Sometimes I do feel like I am just doing lip service. As it’s to myself it’s a wake up call because it makes me realize that I am getting away from honesty. Then I need to look at where I’m drifting and why. Every time I ask for guidance I have an answer almost immediately. Seldom is it an easy or quick fix. Usually I am pointed to something I’ve been avoiding. Then it’s time to mature a little more and face it.
When I’m able to do that I feel free. And it’s the most beautiful feeling.
That’s when I see that being whole IS easier then all that resistance. It takes so much wasted energy to fight a fight with ourselves.
Letting go is my new favorite activity.