I can't moderate..so maybe I shouldn't have responded.

But, I support whatever you chose to do....just be careful.
Alcohol is a slippery slope.

I just told my Dr. the other day...I keep trying to be NORMAL...and have just a couple...and THEN....I find myself back in the hospital....7 to 10 days later almost dead.

Best of luck...it would be great to enjoy a drink here and there...I just cant.

Something sounds familiar there....the promise to'cut it out' is open ended...what happens next? Telling I think that you are worried.
Thats the killer question...whats going to be different after Easter?

P

Hello Needhelp4me2quit,

I cannot advise you on how to moderate your drinking as my own attempt at that ended in failure. I will tell you how it happened and maybe you can relate my experience to your own drinking situation.

Eight years ago I was in a bad way with drinking, although I never missed a day from work, had paid off the mortgage, was putting four kids through college, had not lost my driving licence, had never been to a treatment centre or hospital etc. Drinking got so bad that I could not wait for Lent to arrive so that both my pocket and body could get a break. With some difficulty I stopped drinking and stayed sober until Easter. I felt great and got good work done around the house with the money I had saved. It was always my intention to go back drinking after Easter and that was what I did.

Between Easter and Christmas a bad situation got much worse. I wished that Lent started on New Years Day but I struggled on until Ash Wednesday. By this time I was desperate to stop drinking and desperate to keep drinking at the same time. Again, my intention was to stop for Lent and drink again after Easter and I mustered every ounce of willpower in order to succeed as I had done the year before. It was far more difficult this time but I was determined and confident and had even started to plan the jobs that I would do with the money I was going to save.

Sometime around 7-10 days into Lent there was some sort of event (it was so important that I cannot even remember what it was) and I convinced myself that I had to go to it. I figured that I could not go to a thing like that without having a few drinks so a great plan was hatched. I would drink that night and stop again the following day. I went to the event, had a few drinks and quit again, although it was hard to do so. A week later there was some other special occasion and of course you could not go to a thing like that without having a few drinks. Since my plan had worked so brilliantly a week earlier why not do the same again. I had a few more drinks and quit the following day but it was one hell of a struggle.

Two days later I was back to drinking more than ever and I now drank all day, every day. Before that time I always found a way to justify taking a drink (it was always a drink ha, ha) but now I no longer believed my own lies. I was now drinking for no reason that I could think of and I knew that I could neither moderate my drinking or stop. That was one of the most frightening experiences I ever had, where all hope was lost.

I struggled on for several more months and looked at all sorts of solutions. I ruled out certain things because after all, I still had my pride and didnt want people to think that I was an alcoholic. Eventually when things got bad enough and some extreme things started happening to my body I swallowed the pride and went to a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous, something I swore I would never do. I have not taken a drink since that day up until tonight tomorrow is another day.

When I went to AA meetings I learned why I had been unable to keep sober during Lent and why I soon went back to drinking every day. Drinking had become an obsession for me, although I did not know that at the time. When I stopped for Lent the obsession was still there but I fought against it using my willpower. Eventually the obsession became so strong that I manufactured a plausible reason for drinking. I repeated this a second time the following week but it was much more difficult. Along with a mental obsession, I also developed a craving for alcohol once I took a drink and the only way I could satisfy the craving was to keep drinking.

Once I knew why I drank in the way that I did and why I could not stop once I started I had a decision to make. The options were limited and they did not include moderation because the craving made it impossible for me to moderate my drinking. I could continue drinking but the problem with that was that I could see that grim reaper on the near horizon and I knew whose name he had on his list. The other option was to accept that I could not drink and to be prepared to go to any lengths in order to achieve sobriety.

Maybe you are at a place now where you only have those same two options. You asked what moderate looks like? For some dear friends of mine it looked like a possibility but the reality was a wooden box being lowered into the ground with friends and family members crying and asking why?

If you feel great now, then why not see past Easter with the abstinence? Why plan to drink once He has risen?

One leads to one more. Repeat. That's how I drink.

I found that if I don't have the first one I feel much better about myself.

You don't have to drink ever again.

1is2many

no alcoholic could keep drinking in moderation...for to long

We are all different .I cannot drink moderately, but I know people who were able to return to moderation.

Thank you all for your comments and insights.

As I think I've shared before, I'm one of "those" people who has never suffered any disaster due to my drinking, e.g., no lost work, no traffic accidents, no knock down drag out fights, etc. and so forth. I just got to a place with my drinking where I was having noticeable health issues (higher blood pressure, etc.) and I had done some embarrassing and unfortunate (but not dangerous) things while drinking.

Lent has given me a time to reflect in sobriety. I have done this before. I successfully quit for Lent last year also.

During this time I have not obsessed about alcohol . . . I have just put it aside and promised myself "not now" but not "never again."

Great question: what will be different after Easter . . . as in what will help me be "moderate" this year, rather than build back up to bad place?

I'm working on that one. I have a week left. I will post my thoughts when I've mulled that one over.

Again, thank you all for your input.

I subscribe to the idea that Alcohol Use Disorder occurs on a spectrum. I am one of those people that do not drink as it is too risky and am further along. Others may be at the beginning stages of alcohol use disorder and moderation is possible. You might want to look at: http://www.moderation.org/whatisMM.shtml

A percentage of people who try Moderation Management, one-third if memory serves correctly, eventually decide on abstinence.

Also, there is info that you might want to look at here: http://harmreduction.org/about-us/principles-of-harm-reduction/

Make plans to keep it away. You've come this far! Why stop now when it feels so great? Sobriety is good for everyone--not just alcoholics.