I'm so glad you shared, and so sorry you went through such a trauma.
I've heard way too many stories, including yours, about going out on pills. Pills prescribed for surgery, dental work, etc. etc. Then that opened the addiction "wiring" up again, or however you want to word it...and then the drinking starts again. Ugh. Its so brave of you to come clean. Get back into your program. We are all here for you!

Thanks. I don't think I would have drank if I hadn't been taking the pills. Hard to explain but I know that was the decision that got me going down the wrong track.

Sorry to hear that. Just remember what you've learned. I've been tempted to take a pain pill a few times when my back is really screaming but I'm afraid I'd abuse them too and wind up drinking.

No sugar coating or tough love here all you can do is move forward my friend. My exp. is when I feel my self slipping back to that old thinking especially with pills which is a big part of my story too I know right away I need to get back to where I started that's making sobriety and recovery my #1 thing, meetings, connecting with people with the same issues. I'm sure your sponsor will tell ya the same thing.

Onward and upward!

Sorry to hear that Anna Glad to hear your positive reaction No sobriety is wasted Picking that startover token sounds brave to me keep it odaat
Thanks for your honest share

Glad you're still here. Sounds really familiar to me. It doesn't matter how I impair my judgement. Once I do it's a downhill slide & I can't stop it. Powerless...

Just keep doing the right thing and learn what made you trip up and avoid that in the future. GL

Not crap if you can turn it around and make it a lesson learned. Be aware of what the pills can do and let your local doc know too. Mine only gives me what I need for the duration I need it. Happy that he places the restriction on me, and he knows I'm fully committed to avoiding anything addictive. We work together. You have to make that contract to yourself Tara and stay alert. Onwards.

Hey Anna --

Dang girl, you saw this coming with the Ativan and held on to it.

You are right -- this was a series of bad decisions. Not just one, not a moment of weakness, but a slow descent back to that place of dependency and darkness.

I am so glad you are being honest with us and your sponsor and your group, and most importantly, with yourself. Use this as an opportunity to recommit to yourself and your sobriety.

Absolute honesty from now on. You know what is truth, and what is not. I believe you have a bullshit detector that was telling you WARNING WARNING and you chose to play with fire. I believe you got these messages and continued to fool yourself. You have been down this road, but I guess sometimes we think we need to just check and see if something has changed with our addictive self and these drugs/booze/whatever. "This time I can handle it" will never be in the cards .

Your BS detector works fine-no matter who cheers you on, a person with an MD behind their name or a person who loves you but does not know any better, or whatever. Listen to the truth inside, you knew better.

So let's get back working, I am on board with you :)

That is such a nasty drug, i wonder why Dr's Rx it at all. It is so highly accommodative and addicting, everyone that I personally know who has taken it had not only NOT been helped but has had to get off it to even feel better. It almost seems that doc's are looking for the "easy" way to treat anxiety rather than dealing with the "whys".

As for you little Miss...off the pity pot and move on and forward! You have put together a great program and life and I know you will recover from this set back. You are loved and needed on this planet.

sorry taradactyl but you can restat this program when needs present themself...many in big book have slipped up...remember the whiskey in the milk? it happens....hugs bill