YES!!! I am going through it right now!

How far are you into sobriety and do you work any sort of recovery program?

Just curious. Thanks.

I'm sorry you are feeling this way.
I'm at 16 months today actually. I've had ups and downs but no, don't feel crazy the way I did when I was hung over in particular.
I was sure I was going nuts then. What I was/ am is alcoholic.
I heard a speaker on this topic this a.m. on xaspeakers.org.
He was talking about how when we take away the alcohol, is when we are crazy, if we are "real" alcoholics. That is unless we are in fit spiritual condition, and treating our alcoholism with other "stuff." In his case, the program of AA. Just his opinion.
It resonated with me though. The speaker is Bob D.
http://www.xa-speakers.org/pafiledb.php?action=category&id=60

I hope you feel more balanced soon Tara.
XO

Thx sticky. I will go listen if I can.

Feeling anxious tonight? I am thinking of "patience".......I do think this celexa my help a little.

Biking today? I am a broken record, but get the crazies out physically I think is key for you. xo

I also think artistic endeavors help me process my "crazies".......the anxiety gets an avenue out through making hideous women models and then destroying them.....Ahhhhhh :)

Hi Tara,
I think so highly of you and enjoy every one of your posts, so I hope you find balance soon.

Everyone has such good ideas, and I relate particularly to Karmic's post - sadness or anger HAS to come out SOMEHOW and physical activity and creative projects are ways to transform it into something fantastically positive that can open us up to more blessings.

Do you get vigorous exercise Tara, do you like to draw, paint, sew, write? Thinking of you with admiration and support!

It could be repressed memories coming to the surface. My first month of sobriety I had my first psychotic break where childhood abuse memories came up and I went into a fanstasy. This happened again at 9 months and several more times. Alcoholism can be a result of abuse as a child not just because we aren't spiritual fit or defective characteristic in our personality. AA doesn't like to talk about the real cause we drank at 14 to black out the pain of what was done to us. Just a thought.

"AA doesn't like to talk about the real cause we drank at 14"

Not exactly Leanne. Think AA just likes to focus on drinking too much as the most common cause of Alcoholism for very good reasons.

In lots of ways, things will come up in Sobriety. Important to look, important to be patient and important to tolerate discomfort, for me. One of the reasons I need faith.

I read often about 'fear of insanity' in first few years and identified. The idea that something was bubbling just below the surface, had been desperately trying to avert it.

First... Sticky, I listened to the first audio piece from Bob D last and I thought it was pretty excellent. It described me almost to a T. I think sometimes I just need to know that others have experienced the same and that my "condition" is "normal" for my recovery if that makes sense.

paulokes... "I read often about 'fear of insanity' in first few years and identified"

That is exactly my problem. I have this horrible fear that I am going to lose it and it is like the fear of this insanity is actually manifesting all sorts of anxiety and crazy feelings.

The lead that sticky recommended described a process by which we become so self absorbed that we become depressed and I think maybe that's what is happening and why it isn't so bad when I am around other people.

KK and Lucy... Thank you and yes I know I need to get active physically and creatively. I just haven't been able to get started. Just stuck. I think I will try a little harder this week.

Thanks all, this was very helpful. Now off to a mtg where maybe I can talk about it.

xo

I do Duck. Sometimes I ask myself that exact question. I know we set expectations on sobriety that life is gonna be a walk in the park as long as we don't drink. I can be sitting one minute and everything is okey dokey, the next minute my brain takes me to a place of discomfort.
The good news is I have been taught how to battle the demons.
After fully ingesting step 1, I go to step 2,,,hmmmmm I might just be a crazy mother F'er with or without alcohol. My track record proves I cant run this life thing, i will fuck it up, only a matter of time.
So, lets get outta my head, do what I was taught..
I will not go into on my daily rituals of battle, but one of em is to get up every morning while my coffee is brewin and asking my HP'er for help.
I was on Effexor for years and had to be. Sometime you will be capable of letting them go to.
It's an inside job and I know you know what you you have to do,,
So GOYA.

Thanks paulokes, I always focused on the cause and need to focuse on the solutions. I just realized that with your help.

Hi Tara thanks for letting me know! I listen to speakers on my daily runs/ walks. Sometimes I relate to all of it, other times I don't but its good to hear anothers experiences, struggle, and hope as alcoholics.
Most definetly it helps keep me out of denial.
Hope you have a lovely Sunday!!!

Congrats on your 17 months. When I was only one month sober, I knew that it was going to be difficult for the long haul and that it does not get easier.

I was very depressed, and lifeless. I was previously on Celexa for Major Depression with Borderline symptoms. I take it at night because it makes me sleepy.

I believe this medication will help you. You just have to be on it long enough to feel any effect. You are completely sober, so you will benefit. I have been off and on so far. best of luck~~~cc

Well I can relate I suffer from c-ptsd, social anxiety its the main reason I drink. Been trying to sober up since I was 20 and will be 30 next month, its gets difficult dealing with overwhelming emotions while being sober. Right now I've got about 2 weeks sober longest I ever had was about 3 years. I can also relate with leanne about the mental break downs do to abuse from the past. Which I am just now recognizing cause I always thought thats the way things were and I accepted that as the truth, when in reality it was a lie. So now hopefully I have a better understanding as to whats going on with me, doesnt make it any easier but at least I'm not in denial anymore. And maybe now I will reach out and get the help and support that I really need. So all I can really say to you is just try and put one foot in front of the other and keeping going forward.