The only thing I would say is show her where the meetings are and steer her in the direction of the women who are living sober lives happily and peacefully.

The rest is really up to her!

I would take her to a meeting. Working with others does us a lot of good.

If AA does take with her, you will have done a wonderful thing for her.

Good luck with this. Let us know how it goes?

Hi Tara, as the others suggested, give her a meeting list, offer to go with her to one or two of them and leave it up to her. You could also suggest the importance of finding a sponsor and explain about the 12 Step programme.

I'm sorry but I'm not sure if you have completed your Step work and ready to sponsor yet? If you are, you probably realise it's not a great idea to sponsor a friend or relative, it's too close a relationship.

Be helpful, as you already are, but try not to take her suffering on board emotionally. It will wear on you and reduce your chances of being objective.

It's true that no-one can really be persuaded to get help, if they are not done yet. Many of us, from experience ourselves, know that. All you can share is your own experience if they are willing to listen.

If she really wants to seek help and stop drinking, great. If not, you know the pattern, she will carry on until something breaks (hopefully) and she does something about it herself.

Tara She may well becoming to grips with her disease. I wouldn't jeapordize your own sobriety. Take her to a meeting with you and another alcoholic. Go for coffee let her get used to the idea that AA might be the solution. I wouldn't go alone Greg

Let her know you love her. Give her a hug.

Maybe take her to a meeting and/or talk over a cup of coffee.

It's sad.

But you can't fix her and you can't afford to get sucked in.

Oh I'm so sorry. I have this issue but with my sister. I love her, but I know I can't fix or help her until/ unless she wants help. If she does, I can direct her back to her program. That's really all we can do.

If she is f****d up all the time, once she has been inroduced to AA, you might want to arrange to meet her AT meetings, and then you can see whether coffee afterwards is a wise thing. You sound as if you haven't been in recovery long yourself and if that is so, or you haven't completed the steps, she is a danger to you while she is drinking & drugging! Talk to other women at the meetings for support.

Remember if you are powerless over alcohol that means that you are powerless over HER use of alcohol/drugs etc too!

Thanks all.

I have almost 8 mos sober/clean. I still struggle some days. I am fairly certain I will not pick up a drink no matter who I am around, but I get a little nervous being around drugs and people using.

I decided to leave the ball in her court for now. The way I left it, I told her to text me tonight if she wants to meet up. Not sure what I'll do or say if she does contact me. I think I will just tell her that I think she is still using and I can't be around it. If she can swear to me she is clean, then I will consider meeting up with her IF I can get someone to go with me - not sure.

I think my prob here is that I want to be a friend to her because I think she needs the support, not regarding her drugs, but regarding her life situation. I think she is in a lot of pain because her mother is very ill. I wish I could be there for her but I wish the drugs wouldn't be an issue. It's confusing to me.

Dang. Okay, I am sitting here imagining what if she offer me drugs. I THINK I would be strong enough to say no. I am PRETTY SURE I would not cave.

Ugh. It's a no go. I have to keep my distance.

Good job thinking it through for where you are right now.