go ahead and vent! Get it out!
I hope you have better days soon.
;)

I typically like your posts - whether up or down. As you know i get a lot of inspiration from you. And would never consider you a broken record.

Far from a broken record.. Post what ever you want, when you want.. Love, hope and prayers.. Les

Your posts really help me cuz I'm new and struggling!! Makes me feel I'm not alone or "crazy"!! Keep me posting!! Regardless of why your sober...you are sober.

It is suppressing those emotions and thoughts that will lead back to a drink. Healing is feeling. Even and espcially when it feels like crap, it's progress. Talking it out is much better than taking it out on yourself or others, which is exactly what will happen if you don't talk about it.

Post all you need to... Please, if you can, get to a meetting.

I'm new here, but...
face what you can
postpone what you can't until you can
maybe one problem at a time is a better motto

Not a broken record at all. Keep posting.

I would say though that you are in a tenuous position. It is pretty impossible for an alcoholic to stay sober for something or someone else - it works for a while but not a long time. You are right you have to do if for yourself.

Please, please take some action, get to a meeting, get talking with your sponsor, pray (whatever your beliefs it is a action of humility and intent),meditate, journal your feelings. Try and get in touch with that which brought you to recovery in the first place.

These things do ebb and flow in early recovery but if we don't take action it will take hold. I care too much to fob you off with dont worry it will pass you'll be fine. Please take some action. xx

we have 'em. continue too. go with the flow. imagine all the shit you didn't let go of until now. scream if you need to but get it out.

those emotions are intense because you've anethesized them for years. It gets better but only on the other side after you get through.

Hey-I was thinking about you. Was thinking this: I hope she never ever feels that she is wearing out her welcome if she continues to reach out to stay sober.

No broken record I hear. I hear someone who is struggling and utilizing support.

I am sorry you are having one of those off days. For me, that first about 6 months was up and down emotionally. Then I really leveled off, and felt it was all going to be ok. You will get there.

Lean on me anytime my dearest Olive. xo

I think if you want to sound like a broken record go ahead..
I am your friend and I am here as are all the others. So vent ,scream, cry, whatever just don't drink. You are my friend so I will pray for you.

It's normal.


Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) has three major areas of impact upon the individual:

Cognitive: PAWS creates many difficulties with cognitive processes. Racing or recycling thoughts are often noted and found to be highly distracting by the individual. Thoughts may be scattered and even a lack of coherence at times may be present. Others may notice a certain rigidity of thinking and lack of required flexibility. In connection with this, abstract and conceptual thought may be negatively impacted. Cause and effect reasoning suffers as well in the early stages of recovery. Themes and threads connecting disparate events may not be recognized as easily. Concentration and attention span may be impaired. Confusion may be present. Prioritization by the individual will likely be a difficulty for six to twelve months.

Emotional: PAWS tends to create in individuals either a dearth or excess of emotion. The individual may be hyper reactive emotionally. Even small events of little consequence may loom large in his/her mind and create strong and overly valent (not being able to bond thoughts together) reactions. This may lead others to suspect a relapse or create social withdrawal. Shame emotions may be noted. Conversely, The individual may notice a numbing of emotions. The inability to feel impairs proper emotional bonding with friends and family during the early recovery process. It also impairs the recovery process itself as the individual struggles with trying to feel the resentments, anger, guilt, shame and other emotions common in recovery.

Memory: Memory is frequently the most noted PAWS problem. Recently learned information (within the last 30 minutes) may be quickly forgotten. New skills or routines may be learned and then not assimilated as before the drinking began. Information may be retained for a short time (days/weeks) and then lost, requiring the individual to learn it anew. As recovery requires inspection of the past, the individual may discover that developmental and childhood memories are totally absent or only remembered in a spotty fashion.

All of the above PAWS issues can obviously affect the early recovering person. The recognition of this syndrome by the recovering person as well as by friends, family and colleagues is important. The individual will note that the severity of PAWS decreases as time progresses and that PAWS is stress sensitive. Lowering of stress is helpful. Healthy habits such as limiting caffeine, getting 8-10 hours of sleep, eating three balanced meals and exercising three-four times weekly usually prove beneficial. Meditation, or relaxation exercises can be invaluable once properly learned. Obviously AA involvement with a sensitive and experienced sponsor is key to navigating through PAWS.

Most individuals find the first six months to be the most PAWS impacted with decreasing severity over the next six-month period. By the end of one year, most persons have returned to their respective levels of functioning.

Nodp2day--thank you SO much for that info. I need to hear that my being a bit "out of it" isn't really so strange. I am actually trying to put together the actions and emotions from the past year of alcoholism...and it comes and goes.

I am keeping my perspective...and making sure to get up early and take a walk every morning. It's meditation for me.

Practicing self-discipline is hard at first....but eventually new habits form and doing things differently is not such a fight. Just keep at it. Doing the next right thing.

Remember that whatever you are feeling will pass.....

You're doing ok....
easy does it
one day at a time