That all sounds good Olive, except the headache of course.

Good for you for taking action girly! :)

It is going to be tough but I cannot tell you how worth it, it really is!

Have a good day!

YES!! Just go with the flow and let your sponsor guide you. We're all here supporting you on your journey. Keep sipping water through the day and make sure you get some rest and eat well.

This is GOYA!! Change is good HTL, change is good :}

I thought I needed the biggest, meanest woman to sponsor when I finally reached out too. When I began calling her on a regular basis and following her suggestions and getting to know her, I discovered how loving and kind she was.

Sorry about the headache. Are you drinking a butt load of coffee and smoking alot? Might exchange that coffee with some water.

I know. I've suggested the same to Big Bear but he doesn't listen either, lol. I'm proud of you darlin'.

You are doing good, Olive. All this comes with the territory-and man is it hard. But you are facing this!

Listen, don't let hubby squirm his way out of going to the meeting-please! This is so important, that he comes along with you on this journey.

Bout damn time

Right on!!!

Cabledude, don't assume. I am not shy and am only inviting my husband because he agreed to go if the opportunity came up. Much as I love my husband, I'd much rather go out for coffee with a recovering alcoholic woman right now then hang around with him while he drinks beer.

By inviting him, I do hope that he can begin to understand better and maybe even realize that he has a problem himself. If I don't include him, he feels neglected.

Of everything I wrote, is that really the only point you saw worthy of comment? Or is that just the only one that presented itself as an opportunity for argument? Doesn't matter to me. No love lost here.

Peace & Hair grease.

"Much as I love my husband, I'd much rather go out for coffee with a recovering alcoholic woman right now then hang around with him while he drinks beer."

Yeah no shit huh? Hanging around other sober alkies is a wonderful thing.

I'd go to meetins to get away from my wife! lol

she wouldn't go anyways. I pretty much gave up working on her, I need to work on me, she can worry about herself.

Sorry Howtolive, I'm with Cabledude on this.

Contrary to other replies, dragging my husband with me to a meeting (that he probably doesn't want to go to in the first place) is not going to give him a better idea of the problem. He already is well acquainted with alcoholism in his home.

If you went alone, you might begin to make the connections with sober women that are so vital. I'm sure he won't feel left out and if he does, I'd go on my own anyway. Are you nervous about going alone? We all are in the beginning. Have you helped clean up after a meeting? Poured coffee? Those kinds of things are what gave me a sense of belonging.

By the way. I've got over 17 years sober and I read everything cabledude types. Alot of wisdom in the +27 years he's racked up.

I have probably been to 50 meetings ALONE. I probably go to a new one just about every week. I don't need someone with me. I am not afraid. I am not shy. If I feel like it, I talk to people before/after the mtgs. I have been calling people everyday. I have been out for dinner with groups. I have been out for coffee 1 on 1 several times.

I am bringing my husband because people here suggested it and I thought maybe it was a good idea. I prefer he stays far away from me as I go through this. I don't need his support beyond him not feeling as though I am neglecting him for "new friends" and leaving him out of this "new life" of mine. It is better for ME if he's not there because I most likely won't say SHIT with him there. I do wonder if he has a problem himself and is agreeing to go because he is curious. I did not twist his arm and I was exaggerating when I used the term "dragging". I was secretly hoping he would say no to the idea.

Really, I foresee no NEGATIVE coming from this.

Do what makes you feel right. I think your doing great just keep doing it. One day at a time.

Should have mentioned, besides me considering it because of the feedback I got here, my sponsor who has 10 years sobriety suggested this particular meeting and to bring him because there are good typically good speakers.

Cabledude, Dianna... Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I'm going to take him this once. I think it is important I include him.

Well done on the Sponsor. I too agree that sometimes the ones that seem like 'Nazi's ' are actually soft centred.

I think the only negative to going to a meeting together is that you may not be able to share openingly and honestly about things.

I keep my boyfriend (although I haven't progressed to a 'husband' so may be different haha) separate as I like to be able to open up.

Does your hubby do Alanon (sorry if you already said)?

Hubby has not done Al-Anon, but that might be the next step.

Yea, he knows what I do when I drink but he does not understand why. He thinks it has to do with self will which is very frustrating to me.

M8, you are correct - that will be a negative. His going with me will NOT be a regular thing. I prefer he NOT go with me, but if that is how I can help him come to understanding, so be it.

Thanks.