By not being drunk when she gets home from work. Do that on a daily basis and she will come to believe you!

Bob, loved ones have live through many an alcoholics good intentions in their past drinking days. They may want to believe all is okay, but we have to prove it, and as Serenity mentioned, one day at a time. Have patience, keep doing what you need to stay sober. You didn't get here overnight and sometimes it takes time for all to adjust.

I would agree that if she sees actual results on a daily basis (as opposed to promises that are broken), she will eventually come around. I made promises to myself and others about my drinking, and broke them regularly. Heck, each morning I promised myself I would stay sober, only to be drunk again in the evening. if you're wife is used to seeing this, then she just needs to see you sober (and dealing with life in a healthy way) each day. She'll come to realize that you've changed with action on your part. But be patient and give her time.

TY live, mum serenity

that IS a tough one bob....to paraphrase Dr. Phil..............until.........

I agree with Coogee it will take patience on YOUR part. Saying that you want to take stress off your wife by NOT having her worry implies you can control how she feels. Your side of the street is to stay sober and if she needs to worry and stress over the possibility of you drinking then that is something SHE needs to work on. Allow and acknowledge her feelings but don't try to control HOW she feels. best d

TY Poo! I give her a list of things I plan on accomplishing while she is at work so she knows I will be keeping busy. Idle time is a trigger for me and I think she is aware of that.

Bob we have found that our words just don't matter anymore when it comes to the people cloest to us. All the I'm sorrys and all broken promises they all fall on deaf ears. Our spouses have heard them all. We have found that our wives or husbands will only be convinced by our actions. Sometimes that can take some time to regain that trust. Our only option is to continue working this program to the best of our ability and to let our actions do the talking for us. Greg

I agree with Serenity. Keep doing the next right thing, a day at a time, and she will come to trust you.

bob,

If she's still worried about you after more than two years, it may not be something you can fix or should even have to account for. Has she ever gone to Al Anon?

Nemo, no she will not go to alanon, doesn't think she needs it. greg, I know. ......hard to shake that "drunk" label.

Sticky, its been over 3 years since I got sober. Sure is taking a long time to build that trust back up again.

bob,

I've known couples where the non-alcoholic spouse kept this up for decades. There's a good reason why Al Anon is sometimes dubbed among the members themselves as the Sorrowful Sisters of Perpetual Revenge.

If she says she doesn't need it but won't bury the old hatchets-- well, I'll let you connect the dots.

bob I just have to say stay sober long enough and either one of you is going to die and hopefully if it is you, you will be sober when that time comes...and then she can get over it...LOL