Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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Here I go again

Windsurfer
Windsurfer
Hello All. I have been watching this site for some time and I think I have finally made the decision to quit. This will be about my third time. I was in rehab in '09 and had a couple of relapses that did not last very long and got back on track. Most recently it's been a couple of years of sneaking around. I am sick of myself. My lying ... most especially. I am w/o drink now for 48 hours and do not feel too bad. My doc prescribed Ativan, so I have that if I need it. I am in AA so I do have that support. I am trying to do it right this time. I want to thank you all for being here and sharing your honesty and your stories. This has been an amazing struggle. Part of my stubbornness about not giving it up is that so many times it works so well. I have anxiety and alcohol calms me down, but of course the irony is that alcohol then increases anxiety. I was getting to the point that I didn't want to go out of the house and I think that is what tipped the scales for me and helped me decide if I want to really LIVE or not. I know this struggle is not over, but I feel empowered today. One day at a time ... Thanks again.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Good on you for the decision to quit. It sounds like you have a plan and a support group. Now you will be able to join the chorus of welcoming voices that will cheer other newcomers on.
Tis great you made it here...

Hugs,
Dennis
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
Welcome to the group! It sounds like you have a good, sound, well thought out, plan and I have a good feeling for you!

Good luck on your road to recovery and keep coming back.

God Bless!
Deogee
Deogee
Hello Windsurfer, and that is awesome what you are doing! It gives me hope and inspiration that I can do it myself.

You are right about having anxiety and alcohol calms you down, but then the alcohol increases anxiety. Be careful with the Ativan though. Benzos are nothing more than powdered alcohol, but we do need them sometimes for short term.

I'm just saying congratulations to you on your decision to stop. Alcohol is cunning, baffling, and powerful. I'm praying and thinking of you. Keep it up.
Windsurfer
Windsurfer
Thanks all of you for your encouragement and the warning about Ativan. I am well aware of that and a bit afraid of it. It's like security in my purse in case I get that panicky feeling. My doc only gave me a few doses and I'm not sure she will give me anymore. Hopefully I'll find that I do not need it.
Deogee
Deogee
I hope you find that you don't need the Ativan. I believe a lot of this is just deciding whether or not you have had enough and really mean to quit. The problem with Ativan, and alcohol, and other drugs, is it diminishes our capacity to make better choices. But I understand your need to have that security in your pocket - just in case.

You're doing great. Keep it up.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Good for you! I relate to your story. My journey began in earnest over a year ago. I tried several avenues and AA seems to work best for me.

I am on my 2nd sponsor though I keep in touch with the one I had while I was in treatment. They are great resources as are meetings.

Even though we had a couple of debbie downers at the meeting today, I have learned to take what works and leave behind what doesn't.

Another day sober is a gift to myself. It just so happens it is a gift to my family too.

I wish you peace.
((( hugs )))
Peg
1is2many
1is2many
Get u some sober! It is good. You will find that if you can put enough time in sober the anxiety will vanish. U can do this
1-2
1is2many
1is2many
But saying u think u decided is not going to cut it. Decide and take action I made a resolution to not drink at all costs

1-2
stickywick
stickywick
I agree with the others. Its not OK to think you've decided, you have to decide, and then DO. I've found that any sliver of an out I gave myself with alcoholism led to relapse. I relapsed many times before totally surrendering that I can't drink. I can't have one sip, one drink, with impunity. I've lost that right.
So....decide to quit, quit, and then dedicate a plan of action to walk that talk. Good good GOOD for you.
I hope you stay here and keep us updated.
Windsurfer
Windsurfer
I get what you are saying that I think I am going to quit. I still feel focused altho I don't know that I have totally surrendered. I don't know why that has been so hard for me! Pride I guess and the fact that my dad is an alcoholic and I spent my life saying that would never happen to me. So since it did, I really felt failure. Someone told me that my attitude of "not going to be an alcoholic" is kinda like canoeing in a river and focusing on a rock that you don't want to hit. Boom. If you focus on the rock, you will hit it. I thought that was a great analogy. As I said, I've been reading this site for awhile and have been gaining strength. Thanks so much.
Zachary18
Zachary18
I think that since you have quit for 48 hours confirms that you think you are serious about quitting means you are making a commitment to stopping....I think you're doing fine and deserve a lot of credit...
Precious97
Precious97
For me the first week was the hardest. I had a harsh reality check to make me stop. I am bipolar and live with my mom as I can't live on my own. When I was heavily drinking she got fed up and after about 6 months of threatening me into quitting she sent my kids to live with their dad. I stayed wasted for 2 solid weeks. From the time I got up til the time I passed out and started over again. I got up one morning and took a look at myself and couldn't believe what I was allowing myself to do to myself. When I finally quit drinking I cried for a week because I wanted it sooooooooooo bad.

A long story short, I was able to do it with the help from my DS friends and family =) You can do it too!!!! We'll be here for you!
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