I did the online dating thing. I was horrible at it in the beginning. I'd stay on the site for a couple of months get a few dates and things went nowhere. I'd go off the site. Several months later I'd go back with some perspective on how I was coming across - too desperate. This happened a couple of times until I got to the point that it became fun and I was approaching "dating" people with no expectations other than to meet new people to have fun and to do things with. At that point I got second and third dates a lot. I am no longer single. As with anything on line one has to be careful and observe some basic rules of the road to minimize possible bad experiences.

Hello Ashley8888,
Good to see you back and congratulations on 2.5 years sober. Loneliness is something that I am very familiar with but in my case it happened when I was drinking. What I have found since I stopped drinking and addressed some other things through the Twelve Steps that I no longer feel lonely. Of course I do have a wife and family but I had them when I was drinking too and I was still lonely.

I am no expert and can only relate my own experience. What I have found is that the inner void that I experienced for almost all of my life is no longer there. AA has shown me how to change my focus from thinking about myself to what I can do for other people, not just other alcoholics but in the wider community as well. I no longer have a fear of failure or ridicule so that allows me to try things I would never have attempted before.

When I was in the dating game I was full of fear and insecurity and drinking was the only thing that allowed me to even try. Although I am no longer in that scene, I know that I would be at ease there today without alcohol. That comes from having gained self-confidence and being at ease with who I am and again, I must thank the AA programme of recovery for that.

Therefore, all I can say to you as regards to dating is to relax and be yourself. Be prepared to make mistakes and get it wrong at times; dont worry about other peoples opinions and stick to your principles. Women have a big advantage in the dating game as there are so many places that present opportunities to meet people, without necessarily going to bars and clubs etc. What I mean is that being there, on a beach, the gym, the local shop etc. puts you in a position to attract attention and a kind word or a smile can do the rest. Maybe I better not go further with that but you get what I mean.

Life is short and is there to be enjoyed so get out there and go for it.

Congrats on your 2.5 years! That's fantastic.
I've watched single friends in sobriety get married. I've watched people who didnt have friends socialize:-) I got sober married so havent faced sober dating. You can do it.
Just be open minded, talk to others, make sure you run your ideas by your sponsor and enjoy!

Congrats on 2.5 yrs. I pray for a breakthrough in the love life.

You gotta go out and make something happen U can do it

1is2many

Just to say, I think your loneliness and desire for a mate is completely natural. I've had it too, but I'm 55 now and am used to being single - perhaps it's just old age setting in! anyway, congratulations on your sobriety - and good luck.

Congratulations on 2 1/2 years sober. That is excellent.

I joined eHarmony a while back, and a good friend helped me in the beginning. It started out feeling like a lot of work - setting up a profile, pictures and then picking out who I wanted to answer and those I ended up deleting. But, I soon started chatting with others, and it was great fun. Some I met for a coke, others for dinner, and some I just kept as email pals!

There are so many wonderful people, like you, who would enjoy the company of others. Pick an activity you really enjoy and go do it - that is how I began making new friends.

My husband and I married when I was a major drunk and I have never dated sober. I wouldn't even know how, but I have the same issue with making friends sober. I have no clue on how to make friends! It does get very lonely. I'm sure you've heard Work on yourself! Love yourself and don't go out looking for someone, that's when you'll find it! Annoying but kind of true advice. Good luck to you and congrats on the 2.5 years sober!