Ellie, it was awkward for me but I guess I had felt awkward for a long time.

There are plenty of supportive people here there is a limit though I think to the kind of support you can give online...plus for me meeting lots of people became a boon...didnt have all my eggs in one basket.

If you're willing, plan another meeting in...see if this one is easier than the last

P

Day 3 for me too - high fives Ellie.
I too had a bad day yesterday. I'm trying to do this (this is day 3 for me too), then my ____other calls me a drunk when she is usually sitting right besides me with her 10 oz glass of stoli and cran (the devil herself). It especially hurt because I was right in the middle of straightening out her books that the state wanted to see. I ended up finishing the project and leaving the house with a F%^you instead of a thank you. I won't even tell you what went through my mind.
Like you, I know I have a problem. Like you, I know it's hard. But, I continued to do this crazy maddening crap to myself.
No more.
A few days before I made a commitment to myself to stop this crap, I saw something on facebook from someone who is also trying to quit that helped me immensely. One of her supporters told her (and I paraphrase), "Remember, your quitting will likely make things worse before it gets better, but it will eventually turn around for you". That rung SO LOUD in my head because that is right on! Thank you facebook!
So yesterday when I was melting down, I clung to that thought in my head and I made it through the rest of the day and avoided resorting to alcohol. Any other time I think I would have gone straight to the bar and sat with people who usually enjoy me and drank my feelings away.....even it is only temporary.
So welcome Ellie (if I may). We can do this. I hope this message can help you as it helped me.

Ellie..sleep disruption is normal for a while...about 2 weeks.
One day at a time...keep blogging..
Keep posting...One foot in front of the other...no going backwards :)

I tried to add comments to your blog, but it wouldn't allow me. That may be why you have no comments!

Anyway, I don't know if you are ready to attend another meeting, but the first step was a real relief for me. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol.... for me, the war was over. There were later moments of struggle, but i never did drink again, because I told myself the one thing I could control was what went down my gullet.

I wish you well.

Hi Ellie, welcome to the site and I hope it's helpful to you. I read your blog- nice job! I can relate to a lot of what you wrote about. Congratulations on day 3 of being sober.

Welcome , buckle up and hold on. It's a roller coaster!!
1is2many

Hold on tight to your desire to get sober. It will at some point weaken but only for a while. YOU HAVE THE POWER to keep the desire alive but reminding yourself of all the reasons you are doing it. SOOO much to be gained in sobriety, so very little to gain and everything to lose for an alcoholic who keeps on drinking.

I read your blog entries and really enjoyed it. I found it ironic how it seems we all go through the same thing to varying degrees. Together we should be a very strong bunch if everyone was honest. The support network would be amazing.

Your openness is wonderful...keep up the fight!!!