hi, and welcome. It sounds like drinking is a recent thing for you, but already you are concerned. The concern in and of itself, is a warning sign. I got to AA at 23. from the age of 18, I drank pretty well every evening and to excess. And by myself, mostly. I was worried, when i was 19, that i might have a drinking problem. I hoped I'd grow out of it. well, at 23 I was increasingly miserable. Very anxious. I went for help, and found AA. But I didn't think I was alcoholic, there were so many things that hadn't happened yet. I hadn't had a blackout, didn't have a personality change, I was a quiet drinker. I gave AA a go and went back drinking a few years later. Nearly killed myself that time.
I'm just saying, it's early days for you, but it sounds like it wouldn't hurt to look into alcoholism some more. just so you understand what it is, and what to look out for. So that you don't have to go too far down, if you are alcoholic.

Well mermaidsinger tthis is as good a place to start as any. They do have AA meetings for young people and theres probably one on your campus someplace. If you dont have a bulletin board ask your conselor or go online. It has been our experience that people dont just drop in to an alcoholic recovery site for no reason. We realize that people who come here are looking for something. If not for recovery.Megan you need to understand that normal drinkers nrver come in here looking to chat. If you think you have a problem with alcohol you probably do. On the otherside of th coin this isnt really an age where you need to concern yourself with lifetime commitments. This is when you start looking for direction.I would suggest you try Alcoholics Anonymous as a good place to start. We learn in here how to be better people. The program as we call it teachs us a new way of living a new way of thinking. When we find a meeting you'll be taking a step that some people arent strong enough to take. Dont concern yourself about tomorrow and focus on whats going on today. Our favorite saying is "One Day at a Time" Give it some thought and keep us posted on your progress we really do care. Greg

I was like you in college. I drank to shut my mind down -- to get out of my head, to get farked up. I did not stop going down that path and it got much worse.

Realizing what is happening to you is a good start. How do you stop the cycle? Try getting through this weekend without getting wasted. Just this weekend -- stop the slide down and see how it feels. . Because that is what you are on -- a slippery slope that keeps heading down, and the further down you get the harder it is to climb out.

There are many people who find themselves drinking in the way you have begun to when things in their lives are tough - it doesn't necessarily mean that you are alcoholc (although of course you could be.)

If you do not like the way that your drinking is going perhaps you might want to think about why you are doing it. I understand that you have used other ways in the past to deal with your feelings, so it's important that you get some help. I'm sure that there must be a counselling service on campus. Check that out perhaps.

If you find that you are continuing to use alcohol to deal with how you feel, you might want to think about whether you have control over your drinking or not. What's your thinking on that at the moment? Can you control it? Or is it controlling you?

PS! Pls feel free to contact me by private message if you think I can help. I too have used self-injury as a way of coping with my overwhelming feelings!

Lyn

drinking is not wrong in itself...drinking to excess is a bad situation however and can lead to the phenomenon of craving that any alcoholic will tell you keeps them from being able to stay stopped...

might just try some controlled drinking to see if you have control or if alcohol is your master....

if you put the plug in the jug can you keep it in the jug? might want to try just stopping to see if something else triggers you to another binder....
hugs bill

I think you are looking for a crutch with all the addictive behavior because you were neglected as a child and you are in need of alot of support to help you deal with your feelings!

alateen or AA is a great place to find it and I am sure there is one on your campus.

My parents were both alcoholics so I am sure I must have the addictive gene just like you but being aware is a positive first step toward keeping it under control. Life isn't a bed of roses for anyone in this day and age so we need each other to lean on. Leaning on alcohol just makes things worse.

God Bless!

welcome,i think you may need to look up a local a/a meeting even though you maynot be a alcoholic.From what i read i really see flags from the obsession part of it and the need to numb things to feel better.I am a recovering alcoholic/addict and thats what we do in active addiction we are cumpulsed to feed our obsessions at all costs and even though you dont seem to be that far or your life has become unmanageable that doesnt mean you have to let it get to that point in order to get some type of help before it could.I dont think you would be concerned if it hasnt caused some type of disruptance in your life.Waiting to get wasted was something i use to do early on when i started drinking after a while the waiting part was out the window and i was just wasted ALL the time.Looking back after 18years of the crap all i can say is what a waste of my quality of life.Goodluck.

Wow good for you for posting here. And for thinking about it. I can so relate to your post though its a memory as its been 19 years since I was an undergrad.
I would second what eXJ said. I drank in college to feel better and to get over myself and out of my mind. I did alott of other "stuff" too in pursuit of this that ranged from men to manic work activities, etc. I too struggled with bulemia. When I "cured" myself of bulemia, I started to really drink more obsessively. It all got worse until I dealt with what was fueling that fire instead of stuffing it down with food, or drinking myself into oblivion.

Check out a young persons meeting. You might find you relate, you might not. But either way, try to work toward better outtlets as the one you've started using will almost undoubtably progress if you are truly obsessed with booze.

If one thinks alcohol is a problem, normal drinkers simply don't drink. For a normal person, not drinking is no big deal. Most normal drinkers cannot even tell you, without thinking for awhile, when they had their last drink.

If one cannot stop drinking by themselves, there is a strong possibility one will continue drinking, and over any considerable period of time, their lives get worse and never better.


One only needs to have a desire to stop drinking to attend any AA meeting. If you ask for help AA, members will be available to help you..

However, first, it might be benefiial for you to try everything else you can think of to change your life. My experience is that AA works best for those who have absolutely no other options left. Only then are people able to comprehend what the book Alcoholics Anonymous means when it says "Half measures availed us nothing".

Hello MermaidSinger,

You are not overstepping any boundaries by posting here and in fact you have done something extremely positive. You say you are not an alcoholic and that is probably true but beware of the very real danger that lies ahead for you.

Right now you still have a choice about whether you drink or not. If you are not addicted to alcohol you will be able to either control your drinking or quit completely. It may require support from various sources including D.S. but if you put your mind to it you will be able to do it. If you continue to drink as you are, the day will come pretty soon when you will no longer have a choice.

Your obsession with alcohol puts you on course towards becoming an alcoholic. I can look back to a long time ago when I was your age and much of what you have written are things I could have written about myself back then. If you have that obsession and you continue to drink you will eventually reach a point where your body starts to react differently to alcohol. This change will mean that a strong physical craving will develop every time you take a drink. The craving will tell you to take another drink immediately and the second drink doubles the craving, so you will take a third and a fourth etc. The end result is that no matter how much you drink you will never have enough. That my young friend, is alcoholism.

What I would suggest to you is to find other methods of dealing with all of the big and small problems that life will throw up. You are living in tomorrow and worrying about things that may never actually happen. Forget about yesterday, learn to live in TODAY and plan for tomorrow. It may be wise for you to get counselling of some sort or to get involved with some sort of spiritual programme. My guess is that doing nothing about your drinking at this stage will lead to big trouble for you within a short time.

WOW, what a great feeling it was to come on here and see 11 people who cared enough to try and help...this community has been so friendly and supportive! I am busy re-reading everyone's replies right now, I can't thank you all enough for being so helpful. It means so much xo

good mornin mermaid. :)

Planning things around drinking......oh my gosh, for me, that was only the beginning. Sweetie, you're young and it's awesome that you're recognizing that you may be heading down "that path" and asking for advice. Took me until my mid thirties to realize that I wasn't "normal" to be wasted all the time and plan everything in life around how I could drink before, during & after....

Life is full of disappointment unfortunately and sometimes you are blindsided or thrown a curve ball. Learning how to handle those things without numbing your mind is the best thing you can do. You may want to try an AA meeting, you may not but telling someone (even strangers on here) is a good start. Sounds like you're keeping yourself in check & congrats to you for that! That's huge for any age, but moreso for 18! :)

Hang in there! Things don't always go as we planned....but learning to accept them and "roll with the punches" without harming yourself (drinking/drugs etc.) in the process is an important part of life...and the only way to survive.