Just say all your friends are blind, mute and illiterate. That outa cover it!

I'll vouch for you, if you want to be my friend?

How sweet of you, Mav. But all you know about me is that I'm an alcoholic and I really don't want them to know that. I'll just use my g/f's old number and....gawd...I don't know...make something up, I guess. I don't think they really call. I think they just like to see the spots filled. I'll find out soon enough.

All of my "friends" did not leave because of alcohol. They left because I was a sick ass selfish, self-centered son of a bitch!

Guru

Guru...you just made me laugh. A thought came to mind: One really doesn't change their nature just cuz they quit drinking....
My friends didn't leave me. I didn't create an environment to have them. Work, come home, drink, go to bed and do it all over again.

I agree with you Whoo Hoo, it's seldom that you see a a sick ass selfish, self-centered son of a bitch turn into an altruistic, compassionate and humble son of a bitch. Never in my experience. Alcoholism is many times a magnifier of our basic nature and very few people are truly able to escape themselves entirely. I see it often on DS.

I was a closet, high functioning, independent, depressive, drunk too. I wasn't hurting anyone or so I liked to believe. I didn't need anyone or so I liked to believe.

"I need help" are the three hardest words for the alcoholic to say.

I know all I need to know. All I know is you need a reference. I'm a professional. Hence the anonymous on both counts. I won't tell if you don't, and even if you do. I can give you a very impressive reference as long as you don't tell anyone I'm a drunk. You can get to know me if you want. You are helping me to stay sober. I would like to help you if I can, all I can, and if you'll let me.

To make a friend, be a friend. It's simple, but not easy. You would do the same for me. You're asking for a good word, not for a pint of blood. Having something nice to say about yourself might be something new for you.

It sounds like you may not have the greatest work history. Do you have family? If you are in a AA group and fairly close to someone they could be a reference. Even if you know someone that don't like you put there name and have the new employer only call when you know that person is at work. If you get two good ones he'll give up on the last one.

Sheesh Panda. I happen to have a very honorable work history. 2 jobs in 15 years is not a bad track record.
And I don't understand what my work history has anything to do about the thread.
I got laid off in January for cost-cutting reasons. Guess my salary was breaking their bank.....I have good relations with all of my former employers. These three references CANNOT BE FORMER EMPLOYERS AND/OR RELATIVES. What else is left but friends? My point was I have isolated myself from drinking that I really don't have many friends. Oh I have plenty of bar "friends" but like I would really like a future employer calling them....
BTW: I was told today I got the job and I will start on the 9th.
Perhaps cuz I have an honorable work history....hmmmmm
So you touched a nerve but that's okay. All is good. I consider you my friend in recover.
Kate

i'VE GOTTEN REFERENCES FROM AA BEFORE nOTHING WRONG WITH IT!!People in aa have given me jobs too!! I had a guy give me his ol bomb of a car
he let me pay it off!! And some of my old drinking mates have given me references-character ref's-ask and you will recieve-haa, some of my drinking buddies landed me jobs coz they are such plajarists of the truth -haa.
good luck! all the way from New-Zealand-

I am sorry I offended you Woohoo. It certainly wasn't what I meant to do. I meant to help. I didn't realize the references could be from former jobs. It has 20 years since I have filled out a job application. I didn't think about they ask for job history and references. So I can see how you took it the way you did. My bad.

All is good, Panda. All is good. But thank you for your apology and you are not bad.
Looking for a job in Silicon Valley is not a very good experience to say the least. Extremely stressful and that is exactly what I have been lately. But I got the job and nothing can really ruin my day today as it is.

If you know 3 people who are not relatives use them as you're references. I've asked people in meetings before, they said ok, no problem.

You can make better friends in sobriety.