Anyone can offer up the many sayings, or the polite responses, It boils down to; People make choices, not always good ones, but that is life, We make choices, and we have to live with our choices... but our bad choices may hurt those around us that we love

Sorry to hear about your friend grumblebear, that is a very sad situation to try and figure out, i guess you never really know what goes on in a persons head.She had obviously been trying very hard for a long time to figure it all out. I guess we will never understand.

stacey, firstly, I am very sorry for the loss of your friend. There are many many people in AA who are Dual Diagnosis people, ie they have a substance abuse history as well as mental illness. Many of those people are untreated for their mental illnesses and many are even treated, but the treatment is unsuccessful as psychiatry and psychology and sciences in their infancy. It may be that your friend did also have a mental illness and was either untreated for it, or the treatment didn't work.

I am a Dual Diagnosis person, I have life-threatening mental illnesses as well as being an 11 years sober alcoholic in AA. I am acutely aware from my own story that even though I have been sober for a long time, I work my arse off in psychiatry, psychology as well as my AA program, that I am still at risk to drink again, just as we all are, and I am also at risk in terms of my mental illnesses. In fact, my life is much more in danger from my mental illnesses than from a relapse of drinking as it was clear to me when I got sober that if I did the program of AA I could get sober and stay sober - and I did - and have never picked upo a drop again. But mental illness is a whole other deal. There are so many diagnoses, so many treatments and so many ways the illnesses can progress in unanticpated ways.

It may well be that you friend fell into that category and that the illnesses took her over, driving her to that final act. Again, I am sorry for you loss.

Thank you all for your support regarding the loss of my friend to suicide, This hits very close to home for me considering I have 19 months of soberity and I deal with mental illness on top of it which is a struggle on a daily basis. I have to always stay on top of seeing my doctor,taking my medication religiously, taking my fish oil, exercising regularly, not isolating into my depression, and staying plugged into AA or my bipolar support group. I don't know if my friend struggled with mental illness or depression but it is always a big wakeup call for me when one of my program friends ends their life. I can relate to the pain and loneliness of this disease, but I try to stay on top of all the suggestions in the program to have a good life and never give up, one day at a time!!

AA is a great program but many times many people need intense therapy outside of AA they just don't reach out for it.

I am sorry for your loss

Stacey, I am deeply sorry for the loss of your friend. Being BP myself, I know what you mean about having to work very hard at staying stable. Sometimes, we can't comprehend what pushes someone over the edge. Sometimes, people appear alright on the outside and their inner stuggles just catch them in a time of vulnerability. Your friend is at peace now, but it is very sad and hugggggssssss to you.

I am so sorry for your loss! It's never easy. Take care of yourself through this.

God bless.
~Chris

I'm so very sorry for this. God bless you and keep you....

You know i had guys that i sponsor as well as my own brother commit suicide. It's heartbreaking to say the least. All we know for sure is that God loves all his children. What we dont know is the demons that lie within another mans soul. Demons much bigger than us. Rather than torment their selves any longer , they had to kill those demons in order to find peace. May God give them the peace they could not find in their lives.

I am so sorry. What an act of complete desperation. I cannot imagine. This is not something I can wrap my brain around-I believe there is always hope. When someone chooses this, I find it gut wrenching.

Prayers to you, to her family....xo

Dang. I'm so sorry. It is so unfortunate. I hate booze and I hate this whole malady. Why is it so hard for some? I have a friend with 7 years sobriety. She was right at about 2 years and found herself obsessing to drink but would rather have died. She checked herself into a hospital as suicidal but just to be locked up so she wouldn't be able to drink. She has never taken a drink since. She is the one who tells me "Do the steps. They work." I just hate to imagine how badly someone must be suffering to take their own life. It is tragic. You are in my thoughts.

As I am just now experiencing the loss of my brother by his own hand, you have my condolences. As far as I can tell, he never did get sober, it was a reason we had been estranged. It hurts, a lot, you have my deepest sympathies.
Karen

I feel your emotion - so many of them. You don't know whether to cry or be mad at them. It seems so senseless and without warning. It seems selfish, but then you are so sad for them that an encouraging word could have meant a difference, but you didn't get a chance...

I learned a couple weeks ago a friend committed suicide (car in garage/ carbon monoxide kind) and his best friend didn't know he was having problems for 3 years. His friend said they were both depressed and would always call each other when they wanted to check out - this time he didn't get the call.

I knew this guy (or so I thought I did), but never would have ever thought suicide would be his chosen fate. He was newly engaged (fiance found him), had a loving family, etc., but depression plagued him and hopelessness took hold I suppose. He played in a southern country band and with that comes a lot of "drinking" and I have no idea if that contributed to his depression, but alcohol IS a depressant - I just don't know either and that is the common emotion to survivors - the "why's", the "I never knew's" - the sadness of the permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Anyway Stacey - I see it as a great sign that you don't understand the why - for there lies your hope, that life is more important and there are still things for you to do - people to encourage, people to love, people to inspire using the hope you have and in turn, as your life and your victories encourage others, so too will you be encouraged.