My husband's bar was/is his garage.
He was always home but yet so far away !!

Who told you that you don't have a drinking problem if you only drink at home?????!!!!!!!!
Must have been someone that just drinks at home and is in complete DENIAL!

There are alcoholics that only drink out, there are alcoholics that only drink at home, some drink daily, some binge drink; only you could decide if you have a problem. I don't know what was said to you, but if you think you have a problem I don't think anyone else has a right to decide that you don't really fit the mold.
When you drink, are you able to at any time put it down and not think about it? Go to AlcoholicsAnonymous.org and click on brochures, there is one entitled 44 questions, you might find that helpful even if AA is not your thing.

I spent 5 years drinking very heavily only at home

Indeed when I was out or visiting friends I would only have a few drinks ( littel did they know I had swallowed 1.5 litres of wine before going out/visiting

Key questions - are you drinking every night? how much? can you go days without? do you feel its affecting your life negatively

If yu drink 2 o3 3 small beers a night and can take 2 days off a week - you may not have a problem

It sall about the volume, the habit/dependency and how it makes you feel

Keep seeking advice on DS but you might want to explain a bit more about the extent of your problem if you can

OK, I take it back. I googled and have been unsuccessful with accessing the 44 questions online, does anybody know the 44 questions?

Here's what I learnd in rehab...You can self diagnose by looking at 4 things;

Change in Tolerance- Can you drink more or less than you used to be able to drink? The tolerance keeps going up. You used to be able to get buzzed with 3 beers, now 3 beers make you feel normal and it takes 6 to catch a buzz. Then it'll take 6 to feel normal and 12 to catch a buzz...and it just keeps going until the final stages of the disease and death.

Withdrawls - Do you experience withdrawl symptoms like anxiety, the shakes, depression, racing heart they vary in intensity depending on what stage of the disease you are in. DT's in the final stages of the disease are sometimes fatal.

Pathological Organ Changes - Your body is effected by the alochol, the brain- short term memory loss, the liver-elevated liver enzymes

Blackouts- Chemically induced amnesia. If you had these then you are an alcoholic.

I found this online;

Symptoms of Alcohol Dependence

Neglect of other Activities: Important social, occupational, or recreational activities are given up or reduced because of alcohol use;

Excessive Use: Alcohol is consumed in larger amounts over a longer period than intended;

Impaired control: Ongoing, unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control alcohol consumption;

Persistence of Use: Alcohol consumption is continued despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent physical or psychological problem that is likely caused or exacerbated by alcohol;

Large Amounts of Time Spent in Alcohol Related Activities: A great deal of time is spent in activities necessary to obtain, use or recover from the effects of alcohol;

Withdrawal: Withdrawal symptoms, such as nausea, sweating, shakiness, and anxiety when alcohol use is stopped after a period of heavy drinking;

Tolerance: The need for increasing amounts of alcohol in order to feel its effects.

The only way i found out that i was an alcoholic is when i admitted to my self that my drinking was a problem and my life had become unmanageable. To be an alcoholic is a different reason to every one there are just a lot of things in common. AA also has a web site www.aa.org that might help. It might also help just to check out a local meeting. Just look in your phone book under alcoholics anonymous and give them a call . They should be able to tell you where you can find a meeting. Good luck no matter how it turns out. I would like to know how it turns out if you would like to talk to me some time.

My main problem was my home drinking (2 bottles of wine most days). I thought it was only effecting me but I now realise it was effecting everyone in the 'ripple effect'.

I think the fact you have done this post means you know in your heart that what you have been told is not the truth.