Hello TaylorSky,

Buying a small bottle of wine has brought back memories of how crazy my thinking was when I was drinking. As well as drinking at a bar I also drank straight whiskey at home. I used a mug because nobody could see what was in it. Just so that I could avoid thinking that I had a problem with alcohol I only filled the mug half ways, which was still quite a lot of alcohol. In my mind, I was a normal drinker. However, when my half mug of whiskey was empty, I filled it half way again and maybe several more times after that but always no more than half way. Most people would describe that as crazy behaviour and they would be right but to me it was normal at that time. I had developed an obsession of the mind that always found a way to justify taking a drink and once I drank, I got an overwhelming craving for more alcohol.

I tried a lot of things in order to overcome the feeling but nothing worked and eventually I lost all hope. Then I did what I swore I would never do and went to an AA meeting. That was more than six years ago and up until today I have not taken another drink. You are committed and as you say, its time. My suggestion to you is to keep an open mind and rule nothing out.

First drink is the one that got us drunk because we couldnt stop!

Hi TaylorSky, it does take 100% commitment to get sober - no two ways about it.

For me I needed nothing less than a spiritual programme of action for the urge and need for alcohol to be removed. I could not do it alone and yet I was incredibly stubborn trying exactly that. The best I ever managed alone was about a year but I was sitll struggling with urges and exhausted with the fight to stay on the wagon.

The urge left me about half way through the 12 Step journey and hasn't come back to this day. That freed me to carry on addressing the other areas of my life that needed attention too.

Best wishes for your new start.

Your will to stop has to be stronger than your cravings; yes you will be very uncomfortable without it for a while, and yes it is hard to resist the urge to buy, but even a "small" something shows that you aren't prepared to full commit.
Sobriety is all or nothing; drinking was an all or nothing, too. Drink or die were my options. I chose to live and that meant summoning the courage needed to see those couples of months through where being without alcohol was a daunting thought.
But I survived and now I am truly living a new and vibrant life full of promises and a newfound faith.
So what's it gonna be? The choice is always yours.

The more days you get in the urge lessons, any way it did for me. Some day would come and go and I did not even think about it. And if I did the overwhelming good feeling of not being sick in the morning and sleeping good kept/keeps me from drinking. I use to tell myself when I got that urge. It's just not an option. I also told myself this day will end soon and I will go to bed sober. Good luck.

I had to decide that I was done, once and for all. I had to seek out support and asked my closest friend to support me. And I had to decide to stop buying the wine. I had to think differently. I had to think, I will not buy that bottle, I will not drink tonight, or tomorrow. I had to decide that whatever it took I was not going to drink.

Thanks everyone. I do see the problem and the same routine of going back to buy just a little bit of alcohol. Obviously, this routine has not worked. So, I just need to stop. But, it has become such a bad habit that being sober a day or week or month seems impossible....I know it's not, but I have relied on it so much, I feel lost and anxious without it. Hopefully it gets easier

Hi Taylor, i'm only a few days in myself. first day was wed cus if i was going to show any signs of detox/dt's i didn't ANY of my co-workers knowing what was going on. last night i had the urge as well and my alcoholic brain remembered I had a large strong beer hiding in the closet, my wife was watching tv in the living room and my daughter was doing homework in her room which is the prime time i would drink. i would let them finish what they were doing and go to bed and by the time that happened i was 4 beers in and was a hot mess. and would sleep with my head facing away from my wife in the hopes she would not notice what i was doing again.

but last night was different, it was the usual situation but instead of opening the beer, i took it outside, told it i was done with the heartache and pain it has caused everyone i come in contact with, got my pellet gun (live in country) shook the can it till it was hard as a rock, tossed it about 10ft from me and put so many pellets in it i could use it as a baby's rattle.. for me it was very liberationg to know i do have the power NOT to drink and i chose NOT!

I could not get sober on my own. I had tried for years. I finally sound a room of other Alchies and got better. You can get sober. He'll if I used to drink a twelve pack plus 6-8 shots a night and put it down you can as well

Find some other Alchies , get better

1is2many

I just got through my first night of temptation. There were so many times where i said to myself i could just have one drink but i know that wasnt true. I think it was a mixture of willpower and distraction that got me through. It was an awful feeling. I was so tense all night and all i could think about was hoe good it would feel to have a drink.

You can do it Taylor. when i used to experience a lot of suicidal thoughts my psychologist said to me that the urge to do it was just an auto brain response telling me i'm not sure how to cope with this situation. I think its the same with drinkingm building up alternativr coping strategies could be really helpful.

I did a lot of deep breathing tonight lol

Thank you everyone. I just really need to make it through the worst part and know that it will get better. My sister is an alcoholic and is bipolar. She was far gone, but has now been sober 5 months. If she can do it, I know I can.

Hi Taylor.
Hope you made it thru Day 1...if not don't give up.
I am on Day 1.5 right now and I want to give up because the pain is so great (hangover)...exhaustion, vivid dreams.....I'm sick of being sick.

I'm a morning drinker...so already many times this morning I wanted to give in and I didn't...you just can't give in and it gets better.

When the urge hits me I use procrastination to stay sober. I'll drink tomorrow is what I tell myself. The urges get less frequent and intense as time goes by. You can do it.

Hi Taylor ,,my first step was to make a new blueprint for my life .My old one included drinking ,drinking to avoid pain and stress. And I followed that blueprint all my adult life . So after about 30 years of that it just got really old and boring as did I . So I decided to make a new paln for my life and give it a try ,a plan that did not include drinking .So far so good ,,,its been a nice change with benefits to many to list .You can do this ,,make the change and take it a step at a time