Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Hi Everyone,
Today, I am officially 12 days sober. This is the longest I have been without a drink since I was 17 years old. I'm 26 and have been drinking daily for years. I actually don't even know how long it's been that I have been drinking like this, but I never really realised how much of a problem it was until recently (within the last six months or maybe more) it has got so bad that my fiance would often wake up in the middle of the night wondering where I am, and find me passed out on the balcony at 3AM. Not a good look for your bride-to-be.
My fiance had asked me numerous times to stop drinking, he even came with me to counceling sessions however I never really did anything about it. I would have one night off drinking, then the next night I would just have one because I had "a bad day" and then the following night I'd be back to drinking 12 beers sitting on my own. Of course, when we went out with friends, I would always end up embarrasing him or making him jealous and basically treat him like crap while I was under the influence of alcohol. He would often have to carry me to the car by the end of the night as I'd get so drunk that my legs no longer worked. Understandably, he got to the end of his rope with this and told me that his feelings & attraction for me were gone because of the alcohol & how I'd made him feel about himself and he wanted to break up and moved out of our house. This was 15 days ago now.
This was "rock bottom" for me. Although only 12 days sober so far, thinking back on it I cannot believe that I put him through all of that, even though I knew that his mother was an alcoholic and he struggled with that more than he did when she eventually died. I'm ashamed and have lots of regrets of things I did and said when under the influence of alcohol. I cannot believe that I have come so close to ruining my life with the most incredible person I know because I refused to admit that I have a problem.
I feel fantastic not drinking. It's like there was a hazy cloud in my brain which is now gone. I think about all the opportunities (even simple daily ones) I have turned down because I was too lazy from being hungover or because I wanted to drink instead. All of the suggestions my partner put to me of things he wanted us to do together on the weekend and I would turn him down, because I'd rather sit at home hungover watching Netflix and then crack a beer at midday. It's no way to live.
After a few chats and visits to our place over the last two weeks, he has decided he'd like to move back home next week and stay in the spare bedroom to "see how we go". I'm not sure what the perameters of that will be yet as we haven't had a proper discussion about it, but I'm hopeful that it is a step in the right direction for us. I can tell that he cares for me & loves me, but he cannot take the drinking and all that comes with it anymore. I do not blame him. I suppose that he wants to see me on a daily basis again and see how I'm coping with not drinking, how I'm spending my time and of course, to make sure that I am sticking to what I am telling him & staying off the drinks. He does not really have any reason to trust me right now!
Of course, the seperation from my partner is certainly a big contributor to my sobriety, however it has also helped me see how much I need to do this for myself. I'm missing out on "the best years of my life" by sitting at home, alone, drinking until I pass out two to three nights a week. There are a million things I could be doing instead. I've gained weight, I've stopped going for walks, I've basically stopped being friends with people that don't want to drink with me and I've pushed my partner to breaking point.
Has anybody been in a similar situation? I'd be interested to hear how it turned out.
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Dick Van Dyke’s path to sobriety was a turning point in his life and career. Here’s what happened:How He Got SoberStruggles and Realization: Van Dyke began drinking as a teenager, largely to cope with shyness and social anxiety. Alcohol made him feel more comfortable in social settings, but over time, his drinking spiraled out of control. By his mid-40s, he recognized that he had an addictive...
Congratulations on 12 days sober and I hope you have good times ahead.
If you are not an alcoholic, having a strong motive to stay sober and remembering the trouble that drinking caused you in the past should be all that you will need in order to maintain your sobriety.
If on the other hand you have crossed the line into alcoholism it can be a bit more difficult. For alcoholics, drinking becomes an obsession and until that obsession is removed, they will always be in danger of finding a ‘genuine’ reason to drink. It could for example be a disagreement with a partner or it could be a celebration such as a birthday. It could be that a good bit of sober time has passed and there is a feeling that drinking could now be controlled or that maybe it wasn’t really that bad. Sometimes, it will happen for no reason that makes sense to the alcoholic, resulting is another bender that he or she cannot understand or explain. The bottom line is that an alcoholic cannot drink safely and will not do so in the future. One drink will almost always lead to many more.
I got to a position where I desperately needed to stop drinking and at the same time I didn’t want to stop. Eventually, it got so bad that I decided to quit for good. I did not know at the time that I had an obsession for alcohol and no matter how much I wanted to stay sober, I always manufactured that ‘genuine’ reason to drink. When everything else failed, I went to AA meetings and have not had a drink since.
I spent about a year with the thoughts in my head of, "Who is he to tell me to stop drinking? I'm 26 years old. Alcohol is legal. It's everywhere. Everyone we know drinks. If I want a beer, I'm having a damn beer!" but it would more often than not be plenty more than one beer. It was almost a rebellious response like if a teenager is being told by their parents what not to do.
At this stage, I'd be quite happy to never drink again, but I don't know what the future holds. Will I ever drink again? I don't know that for sure. But I'm not drinking today.
You asked if I've been i vet been in The same situation. Yup. And we got married and I went right on drinking for another 10 years. It took that long for me to quit. I would always get to feeling better and go back. Until I decided to get sober.
I hope you have the life of your dreams you deserve to be happy.
1is2many
Keep up the good work and congrats on 12 days!! Being an alcoholic myself, I know how hard it can be.
Edge11
But forget the labeling. You have an allergy to alcohol. You said it yourself: Your legs fail you, you say things that are wrong, you make your man jealous, and you embarrass him.
If shrimp did this to you, would you continue eating shrimp? Would you be worried about being labeled a shrimpaholic?
The gift of all of this is that you have a man willing to be there for you if you stop now, and that you've discovered this problem in your 20s!
What a gift! Jesus, if I had quit long before I did when I was 40, my life would be so much better and it's absolutely wonderful now.
Drinking is severely overrated and when you are sober and you are around people who are drunk, you see how clear that is.
So how are you doing today? And could you consider going to AA and your husband going to Alanon? Or Smart Recovery?
If you do it together, it will be easier.
I'm going well today. 16 days, no alcohol. I feel very positive about it. I went out to the pub with some friends on Friday after work, drank my Lemonade and was even able to drive a couple of people home! First time I've ever been able to do that! I won't lie that I was looking at everyone drinking beer and thinking "I would love a beer right now!"
My partner has returned home over the weekend to try and work on things with me, and he said he's really liking how I've been lately: smiling more, clearer eyes, more energy, excited to try new things. It's become so clear to me now that all of my problems: anxiety, depression and general laziness had got worse due to the alcohol. It certainly was not benefiting me (except for those hours that I would be drinking! But that's very short lived and no longer worth the consequences!)
I'm very glad that I was able to catch onto the drinking as a problem before it got worse. Some of the stories I have read on here absolutely break my heart - especially to think that I was on the track to becoming like that!
I'll think about AA & Alanon. I'm in Australia and I'm not entirely sure if they have those programs near me, but I'll certainly check it out.