As for me I had a long road because I don't think I really felt that I needed help in quitting drinking or if I asked for help I was weak. Ha I was weak when it came to alcohol so what was my problem? I have been in and out of AA for 23 yrs. yea I started back in 1983 but not really ready to do what they suggested so I leaned on myself alot and of course it got me back to drinking. I have quit on my own a few years ago and the longest was 6 mts. and I drank. I quit in AA for 7 mths. last year but went back. I was always trying and I didn't give up. This time I quit for me and started going to church and found alot of nice people there who love me and are concerned for me and my life. I really didn't get much in AA except alot of slogan talk and I want and need people to talk to and I just couldn't find that in AA. I am not knocking it but I have to go with what works for me and I do feel changes in myself and I do get up in the morning and do my readings and also I read from the bible. I try to get my mind right early in the morning before I start my day. I try to eat better and go for walks in the woods where it is quiet and I thank God at night for keeping me sober. I post here and try to help others. I try to stay busy during the day and not dwell too much on yesterday but I am human as I sometimes get into the ugly past. I am learning to forgive myself. Most of all I draw strenth from God and this time I really feel I was ready to turn away from this awful lifestyle that I was leading. I am older now and I have had alot of bad things happen in life and most of them were when I was drinking. I don't have to live that way anymore I have a choice. I want a better life and now I have to build it. I don't know about AA anymore as the last time I went I was rudely interrupted when I was talking about the first step and then my friend told the guy off that interrupted me and after the meeting some other guy ran into my husbands car and never even said sorry. Sometimes I feel that these people just live in this world and they have lost touch with important things in life but that is just my opinion.

Hi,

One thing I've always wondered about AA. If you go to meetings everyday, aren't you still obsessing about alcohol, or at the very least, replacing one obsession with another?

How did I get sober? I quit on my own. I don't think I used will power. I came to a realization that I can't drink, and from a place deep inside I made a decision that I would stop. I didn't need to really use will power because most of my desire to drink went away. When that desire to drink comes, I can recognize it, ride it out or push it aside without getting stressed out.

After a few weeks of not drinking, I did do some reading, spending some time at Barnes and Noble looking through non-step recovery books, like Rational Recovery (which does have some great tips, but beware -- it bashes AA.) Rick posted a link to SMART, and I've spent some time there so I will have the tools I need if the desire to drink starts to get the better of me.

I am active in Church and spent years doing active-meditation at Bikram yoga, so I think I have a good personal grounding in my spirituality -- that helps.

I went to an AA meeting this week to check it out, and while I am sure it is a great program for other people, it isn't right for me.

I hope you find the path and support you need to stop drinking for good. I've hated to see you struggle. Are there programs in your area other than AA that have f2f meetings that you can check out?

I found AA meetings unpleasant because I am an introvert but worse, to me, the steps and slogans emphasized drinking. I thought about drinking more when I went to meetings or worked the steps then when I was "out there".

Over the years I read many many books on recovery, spirituality and psychology. I stopped drinking many times only to start again. I wish I could explain what changed this last time I stopped drinking. It was not -this is it, this time I'll really quit. What happened was that my attitude changed, I became a nondrinker period. My best guess is that it was a combination of many things that created an intent to live alcohol free.

No doubt some will say I am not a real alcoholic or I am doing it wrong. That's cool. There will always be people who disapprove of me. My way works for me. Now it has been six months and I have no desire to drink, in fact I rarely even think about drinking. It sounds corny but I feel too great to even consider spoiling it with a drink.

I am a Christian, and as you said, much of what is in the BigBook is also in the Bible- it's just not as condensed. I started my recovery by reconnecting with a church family and regularly reading the Bible and praying.

The funny thing is that I recently started going to AA - at least a little bit. Why? I think I just wanted to be around other alcoholics once in a awhile. I'm not 100% sure that anyone at my church shares my problem, and it's nice to be around some people that understand. That's my "positive" for aa. I also like the fact that it forces you to get very honest with yourself and face things you've never faced before.

If I had to choose a downside, it's the fact that many of the people in the meeting are not like me at all. It may be the section of town where I attend, but half the people who share, end up in jail every time they pick-up a drink. I don't completely identify with that, but there are probably other meetings.

In the end, I think you need to establish a program of some kind.....you can't drift or you will get complacent.. You can do it through your own spiritual path if you follow it, stay honest, and stay accountable to someone. AA forces these things.......if you try another program, I think you need to include this.

You talked about balance - I think balance is still up to the individual, whether you attend AA or not. Some people attend meetings all the time, and I"ll agree that they may have replaced one addiction with another. But you have the power to regulate that.

Anna I have no problem with people finding other means of recovery but knowing you personally I do not believe your relapses have anything to do with AA. :)Lisa(:

I've been to a few AA meetings, just never found one that I really felt like I fit in at. I mainly went for the sober company though and never jumped in with both feet as far as a sponsor and the steps and all that. For me, the first step was some counseling. I didn't even know that I wanted or needed to quit drinking, really, until I started listening to everything I was bitching about to my shrink, and realized it was all alcohol related. One of those "aha" moments, if you will. From there I never looked back and it's been just over two years. I used SMART Recovery quite a bit in the beginning too - mainly the toolbox, which I incorporated into (private) journals. I was never an every day drinker and have people on the main board tell me I'm not an alcoholic at all (the nerve)! I was more of a binge drinker - big time on the weekends and maybe a day during the week now and then. I just know it caused MAJOR troubles in my life and that my life has improved tremendously without it. Can't really say I even miss it.

I agree balance is a good thing. I really never wanted to replace drinking with going to AA meetings. I'm sure it's a better habit to have, but I'd just as soon enjoy living life than talk and think about alcohol every day!

Welcome to the group. Lot's of caring, supportive and nonjudgmental people here. Glad you found us!

I knew AA would not work for me for personal reasons but in a way I have used some of the steps to get and maintain sobriety. I first had to acknowledge I had a problem which I did and sounds like you have acknowledged yours also. That's one big thing out of the way.

The second thing was I had to stop drinking for a bit to figure out WHY I was drinking. Can' think to well with vodka on the brain now can I? I did like compost and read everything I could get my hands on including the big book, other addiction books and other resources like SMART recovery, Lifering's SOS, etc as well as see a councelor. This helped me understand I was self medicating to deal with life. Once I realized this I turned my attention to dealing with the problems in life I was hiding from. I too made the decision not to drink and concentrate my efforts on fixing what was broke. This took up a lot of my time which helped me occupy the time I would be drinking.

I stole from 3 different programs to develop a program that worked for me including exercise, healthy eating, resurrecting hobbies and mostly enjoying life sober.

I agree with you that AA can emphasize alcoholism to the extent it becomes counter productive. I don't think about drinking everyday. I rarely think about it because I made the decision not to drink...done deal. It's not will power life exjersey says. It's a combination of recognizing the issue, educating myself on it from many sources, realizing why I drink and working on the why.

Welcome to the group Howtolive. I'm sorry that I don't have time for a proper response but I will get back to you. I've been burning the candle at both ends lately and I'm just home for a minute. I have years of experience in AA and it didn't work for me either. Once I figured out that it wasn't ever going to work for me I started looking and found that AA isn't the only game in town anymore and it doesn't work for everyone and unlike what the big book says it isn't their falult.

It might be good to go back and read some of the older threads and get an idea of what different ones are doing. As they say in AA keep comimg back.

I had to get my head in the game when i first got sober. As i growin my sobriety I find my life, attitudes and the way I react to situations changes all the time. Balance changes as I grow. Right now I am on a quest to know myself and why I feel the way I do. Other programs that bash any one else are wasting their time. I have been sober only 21 months and where I used to wonder how I could live with out alcohol/drugs has changed to why would I go back to that life again. It's not just quiting drinking, it's finding your inner self with out the addiction that colors your thinking.

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