Alcohol Recovery Without 12 Steps Community Group

This group was created to explore various recovery paths for Alcoholism. We generally chose to explore paths outside of the AA model, or ones which incorporate, but are not limited to AA. Anyone wanting to learn and explore how to become free from alcohol addiction are welcome. Our main goal is to support each other with compassion and decency, while remaining open minded...

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keepitsimple247j 10/02/2011

So I need to blog this right now since it's fresh on my mind. Me and my boyfriend got into kind of an argument tonight. He reacted in a way that was minimal but triggered how my ex boyfriend used to treat me. Basically, he said a sarcastic remark that he thought was funny and I thought was not and I told him that it pissed me off and was trying to explain to him and he got annoyed because he thought it was funny. The way he reacted made me feel like he didn't care about how I felt, he just thought it was funny. My ex boyfriend would treat me as if I was always the one to be the problem even though he was a jerk. It sent me into PTSD mode and I had a mental breakdown. It brought me back to the feeling of having so much anger over 3 years of just bullshit. I literally felt like I was there again, even though it wasn't as extreme.

I must have been holding in emotion for a long time and this definately broke it out of me. I talked to my boyfriend about it finally after. He understands a lot better and apologized to me more sincerely.

Has anyone ever gone through PTSD moments?

nelliefay 10/03/2011

I've had people say offensive things, and then try and pass if off as a joke, as if that means i have no right to be offended. It doesn't work that way! I'm so glad your boyfriend became understanding and aplogised.

YREKADC 10/03/2011

sweety i have complex ptsd. i was raised in hell from birth to 16yrs. shit sets me off that i don't even know what did it. communication is the key to a relationship. it is great you were able to talk to him again and he had time to think about what he did, i am sure he had no intent in hurting you. i am guilty of that myself, being insensitive towards my wife. now that i am sober i see how i have hurt her feelings with some things i say, as a joke or just because i didn't think before i spoke. my wife also has codependency issues. she says and does things, whether consciously or not i don't know yet, that will push my buttons that would have normally made me upset enough to go have a few beers. now i try to think it out before i react on auto...
so in answer to your question, yes i have those moments for years.. allot of "spouses or " don't understand about ptsd, even i didn't know how deep it is embedded into our minds.
well you did great, you stayed sober and you communicated, and things are better. now take a deep breath and slowly let it out, now look into my eyes, you are getting sleepier. on the count of three............lol
cuddos on a job well done. take care and be well
dc

deleted_user 10/04/2011

Just one observation from a guy who has entered his late 40's.........I've come to the conclusion that women and men do not always have the same sense of humor, even when they get along well on many other levels. Took me long enough, but I'm very slow.

Yes, there are areas of humor where we all agree, but I can't count the number of times I've thought something was funny, and my male friends agreed........then I shared the same remark or humorous situation with a woman and was met with sunned silence. Or disgust- lol.

Best not to let it get to you.

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