Alcohol Recovery Without 12 Steps Community Group

This group was created to explore various recovery paths for Alcoholism. We generally chose to explore paths outside of the AA model, or ones which incorporate, but are not limited to AA. Anyone wanting to learn and explore how to become free from alcohol addiction are welcome. Our main goal is to support each other with compassion and decency, while remaining open minded...

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LornaR 12/28/2012

I started a conversation about being an atheist in AA knowing I'd get bamblasted! lol. It is important for people in AA to not question it. That's okay in the beginning. Sort of! But for some of us who don't believe in God it is like trying to get something from a church service. I don't know. I come on this group and no one has even been on having a conversation. AAers say they don't bad mouth other forms of recovering while I don't even see any others. It is the only game in town and I am sad that it doesn't work better and that we can't even discuss it. I love AA enough to want it to evolve to be more helpful. But I think I will just bow out. I'm sick of being backed into a corner when I speak up, or continually holding my tongue. It's sad really. The entire world is so out of whack when we start believing in things we can't really prove. I don't see a need. I had the original awakening as the result of doing the steps, but after staying sober for many years I had another awakening and realized I was brainwashed. I am glad. I feel like I am being much more honest with myself, my place in the world, and with others.

Some of you may not be atheist and in that way I really wonder why you don't want to do the steps. It is interesting how it does work. Quite the technique. Too bad there is so much dogma to swallow along with it but if you already believe in God than what have you got to lose?

So if there are any lonely alcoholic atheists out there, I'm one, only one, and I won't be able to chat with you often but I'd love the friendship.

ExJerseyGirl2 12/28/2012

AA is not the only program of recovery and it is no more effective than CBT based programs. If you want to get involved in programs that view alcohol as an addiction as opposed to a spiritual malady check out SMART Recovery or Women for Sobriety or do some digging on your own.

I don't want to do the steps of AA because I don't see them as a means to get and stay sober for me. I got sober without them, don't have the desire to drink -- why would i want to go through steps now? And I certainly do not want to spend time every week or month in AA meetings -- I have found them to be depressing and not helpful to me.

I am not bashing AA .It is not for me. I just don't get the attitude that lots of people seem to have that AA is the only way to get sober and everyone should use it.

I dislike the spiritual (or call it religious if you like) aspects of AA immensely. It is not because I am an atheist. Not at all. It is because AA is NOT compatible with my beliefs.

I am not in a program. My sobriety is not dependent on belief in a higher power or on accepting my powerlessness.I am not a lonely atheist alcoholic but I'd be happy to chat with you about getting and being sober in this group.

Rick8 12/29/2012

Ditto to what jersey said. It works for many but does not fit into my belief system. I developed my own program stealing from other programs. Glad you dropped in

deleted_user 12/29/2012

I know of athiests on this forum who are AA members, so apparently they have found a way to philisophically accept the AA program and keep it compatible with the fact they are athiest.

Yes, I believe in God. But never really got off the ground with the 12 steps. For me, the "whole approach" of seeking God through the scriptures and attending a church with other believers, and daily prayer helps me stay centered. This is not a zero-sum game, were everyone who believes in God must follow AA. Although I know many believers in AA and I know many people who kicked the habit without AA too.

AA has offered me some good ideas that I've accepted as my own though.

LornaR 12/29/2012

I think some may be missing the point. Some of us are atheist and very sick with addiction. Try being an addict 24/7 and using a method of recovery that is barely started, barely available, or barely tried. Look on the Alcoholism site for instance. There are many on it all day, available to help. I needed more help than other programs have to offer. Not because of the steps or the program but because alcoholism is a disease of loneliness and isolation and I need people to help me get through. And if you come from small towns as I do you are going to stay lonely with your alcoholism unless you go to AA.

onetoomany 12/29/2012

Try Smart Recovery. That is what I do and it is great!

LornaR 12/29/2012

How much would you like to bet that it doesn't exist in small towns? Or is it does it barely does? In the USA people with alcohol related crimes are court order to attend AA even. In rehab it is still the best choice because there are people in place, all over the nation to help, for free. That's why it bothers me that AA itself would rather cling to religious philosophy rather than try to reach more of the population.

But I will check it out! Thank you.

LornaR 12/29/2012

Oh and to reply to the comment about atheist being in AA. I am one. It is lonely, frustrating, and I almost died because I didn't want to be a conformist. Yes we figure out how to make it work. But at what cost?

ExJerseyGirl2 12/29/2012

If you think AA is the only recovery program you can do then why are you here? The folks in this group are open to all methods of recovery. You might be better off in an AA group or starting a new sub group on DS for atheists in AA.

LornaR 12/29/2012

Do you stay sober by writing on the internet???????????????????

Hello out there. Anyone home?

ExJerseyGirl2 12/30/2012

Do I stay sober by writing on the internet? No. I stay sober by making a conscious choice to not drink. I stay sober because I have broken the physical and mental dependence I had on alcohol. I stay sober because I am now a non drinker -- I do not drink, that is who I am and that is how I live. I stay sober because it is easier and better and more rewarding to me than drinking. I stay sober because I am not willing to choose to poison myself that way again.

My sobriety is not dependent on the internet or meetings or being accountable to others.

I am here because it took time and effort to break my addition and the support I got from others here helped, along with discussions that helped me think things through and discover how I wanted to live my life in relation to alcohol. I am here because there are so many good people here who's company and comments I enjoy.

Rick8 12/30/2012

I can tell you I got sober by using the Internet as a tool to learn from others who have "been there done that" on this very forum which in turn helped me to realize why I drank. Needed to do a lot of soul searching and stop with the excuses and understand whether or not I drank was my choice.

Many of the people on here have never been to any kind of face to face meeting in our lives, me included. AA is not going to change for you so you either find a way to change your approach to it or find a different program via the web since as you said there are no other meetings of other programs in your small town.

onetoomany 12/31/2012

Lorna, Smart Recovery has a web site and they have online meetings.

LornaR 12/31/2012

Good for you. I don't have the kind of strength you do. I know myself. I've had long term sobriety and lost it twice. I need the presence of physical people abstaining along with me.

stickywick 01/03/2013

I'm not an athiest, but I'm alcoholic. Welcome.
I love hearing from the athiests in my home group. Just like I love hearing from the Christians. I'm neither, but I do just fine in the rooms.

LornaR 01/03/2013

Thanks! This is very nice to hear.

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