I know I have a lot of drunks left in me. Just not sure how many day 1's I have. Haven't wanted to find out in almost 18 years.

I'm not at any rock bottom either. I have an empty nest, and no one to answer to. That makes it harder, because my kids are not around, and I don't have to hold back for them. Husband goes to bed by 9 each night, and I am left bored and lonely. But I recognize that I have a bad habit, and cravings. So, like RussP I want to get control. Drinking is a waste of money and time. And I hate hangovers.

Thanks for the post. Boredom is also rough for me.

Things are really great in our family. Solid marriage. A wonderful teenager son. Self employed and business is good. All the ingredients of a happy life. And that's why it bothers me so much as well that this has the grip that it does on my life.

My wife also goes to bed at 9 every night, and I'm left to channel surf and have some wine. But, it's getting old, very old. I'm tired of being tired.

I am on my second "day one." The first time I quit for a few weeks, decided I could drink socially, did well with that for a while and then slowly slid into my old habits. This time, I had to ask myself, why is it important to be able to drink socially considering the risks? So I'm trying to stay completely sober. I am also one of those who never really hit "bottom," but did come to terms with the fact that my drinking was unhealthy and having an impact on my life. In a way, that makes it harder.... and easier to convince myself that I don't have a problem. I might be more motivated if I was seriously ill or had a major wake-up call. But so far, staying focused on my goals has helped me not to drink. I just try to remember that nothing good can come of it.

Amen to that! Nothing good can come of it for me either. That just sounds so damn simple, doesn't it. If you think of the end results, it just makes perfect sense not to pick up. Today, I will be sensible.

I'm glad you're jumping in and getting your feet wet here, Elena. It's great to see you posting. There's really nothing scary about posting here. You just can't believe how support these people can be.

We have a lot in common... day 1 and dogs! I'm on day 2 and feel like crap but I'm not having another day 1. I've never said I'm quitting for good, I always said 2 weeks, a month, just Fridays so I didn't count all those as day 1 but it's been tough. I've been on Campral for months and it kills the cravings so I thought I was invincible. I just need to not take the first. I can't - between the alcohol and the repeated withdrawal, it's killing me quickly. Good luck.

I've done the same--said that I would "cut back" and "control the drinking". It's interesting how a few drinks can so easily "motivate" you to lower your guard. That's probably what's got me so frustrated. I can now see that cycle. I'm tired of it. Very frustrating. But, there's hope. Today is a new day 3 for me, and I feel good.

Hang in there!

russp, I was at the 'should' about 2 years ago but since then it's become 'want' and 'have'. I got fired twice (I'd never been fired before), totalled my car, got a DWI, 4 days jail & 180 hr of community service. Two ER visits sans insurance totalling $35000 (once for harsh withdrawal, once for poisoning myself). Get control now. Those two years were a blur and a mess. I wish I'd been more honest with myself back then.

My Day 1 was 4-10-91. I know I have more than a few more drunks in me but I don't know which one will kill me. I think I'll just keep the day one I have.

DogGirl--sounds like you hit bottom pretty hard with all that you've experienced. Those kinds of consequences can be real motivators.

nodp2day--congrats on holding your course. That day 1 was a long time ago. I'm sure it's been hard work for you. Way to go!

In the beginning of trying to get sober, I had a day one almost once a week.. Drinking on the weekend and promising on Sunday I was done, till Friday rolled around again.. But when I really became serious about quitting, I have had 3 day ones... But I feel that my last day one, was the last.. I have been sober coming up on 6 months now..

Contrary to what many of what my AA brothers and sisters say one must decide which ledge is the last one before you take the last leap and they throw dirt over you. I have been around for a long time and never seen anyone learn to control their drinking. My question would be what is it your afraid of missing. Is it really the drink or the lifestyle that goes with it.