I feel bad cuz you're not getting a whole lot of support here, Sumi. I'm not sure what you were looking for with this post. I can't support someone cheating on their longtime girlfriend -- you've said before that in your country this relationship is not acceptable. So, get out of it then and screw anything that walks if you want. That, I could support.

I really don't like the giving of medical advice here -- are you or Lorena qualified to be giving it? I think not.

It's only mind games when mixed signals are sent. These seem to be very clear signals. Your stress is most likely coming from juggling the two women. I did that once as a teen, I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. I agree to just forget about her and also valium? That's heavy stuff, is it prescribed.

About juggling between 2 women. everyone seeks variety in life, come on lets admit it without being hypocrites. The whole glamor industry revolves around sex. And I think it has nothing to do with my alcoholism. Only when someone like Tiger Woods or Bill Clinton gets exposed we sit back and take note. Otherwise everyone is doing it left right and center.
About the valium without a docs advise - it nothing compared to the bottles and bottles of alcohol I have consumed against everyone's wishes. Besides I have done my research on benzos.

Sumital this truly has nothing to do with sobriety - not being mean here, but it sounds more like stupidity. Also, if you've been just not using and not taking steps to change your body, mind and soul, then maybe yoga hasn't even helped. Still sounds like you have the ALL ABOUT ME syndrome - the same as when we drink - your just ALL ABOUT YOUR EGO - if you aren't man enough to say no to a woman when you are already in a committed relationship, then you need to rethink your relationship - having your cake and eating it too is not necessarily the right thing. If you variety as you speak of then why be committed to someone? Not everyone is doing left and right - you are wrapped up in the "glam" of "unglamorized" society, just because it's on tv, and in the music and just because the neighbor is doing it doesn't make it right. That is what is wrong with our young society of today, drop outs, gang violence, pregnant teens, divorce rate sky rocking, same sex relationships, etc. The industry isn't right, the industry makes it's money off of people who can not think for themselves and is not strong enough to stand up for what they know is right. Heck there are a lot of murders in teh world so you think it's ok to murder just because everyone is doing it and they glamorize crime and such, they make prison look cool.

You are justifiying your actions, which is what us addicts do best. I am very truthful with everyone and i tell them I am the world's best justifier, i am not proud of it, but it's the truth, it's the hardest part of my addictive personality for me to change. I haven't drank in almost 15 years but I still justify behavior be it good behavior or bad behavior adn that's exactly what you are doing -

Valium is HIGHLY addictive and for you to think otherwise is just foolish - living a guilt free live can free up a lot of anxiety - sounds to me like you are missing the whole enjoyment of sobriety and missing the whole point of yoga - I've often wondered if your attraction to yoga was female geared from reading many of your past posts, now I believe it is, you are don't seem to be doing yoga for the spiritual or healing sense, it's all about you adn your ego.

If you think your yoga is so fantastic then why don't you attend and teach all male yoga classes - I don't think you could do it -

Sumi I feel sorry for you - i really do -

Peace.

So by your last statement you think juggling between two women without them knowing is acceptable moral behavior? Everyone doing it "left, right and center" makes it OK? Sometimes when someone becomes sober they want to make up for lost time. But at what cost to ones character Sumi? You have a lot to learn on how to treat women with respect.

Really nice thoughts Carebear64!! You really got me thinking there. Maybe you are right. My hidden motive to excel in Power Yoga might have been the women in the class initially. But as I progressed I really started enjoying the class. And the women were a welcome side effect, no pun intended to the women in this group. Carebear64 you don't have to feel sorry for me as I am really living the life I wanted after 15 years of alcoholism. Without getting into the AA bullshit of how addicts think and justify there actions I would like to make a statement about what I think of women - "Frankly my dear - I don't give a damn!" (Clarke Gable - Gone with the Wind)
Mind you that before getting into deep alcoholism I was a hardcore gymmer and a successful businessman so getting women is nothing new to me.
I just know one thing which I repeat to myself day and night- as long as I keep away from that first drink I can manage my life around me. That is essence of it all, isn't it?

Sadly Sumi it sounds like all you've done is be abstinent from drinking, you have not reached any level of sobriety.

May God help your soul.

hey Carebear64 are you from the AA group? You are entitled to your opinion. I pray for your life long sobriety - one day at a time...
no hard feelings. Friends again?

I am from the alcoholism group and I am not a member of AA but I do have several years of not drinking under my belt . in 2010, it will be 15 years

I have no hard feelings when you choose to do with you life as it is your life - but unfortunately my respect for you dwindled to nothing. I previous had my doubts but was trying to believe i was wrong. Your expression of how you feel about women confirmed what I did not want to believe.

i wll not lose sleep over something this petty, but in order for me to do the right thing in my life, I must respect who i choose in my life - i probably won't reply to your posts - until you can respect women as people and respect people in general and gain respect for yourself, i feel i must step back. Even though I am guilty of being human and make mistake in choices and all i also try not to be hypocritical.

i respect your path to sobriety, just as I respect everyone's path to sobriety - but in order for me not to get into posting wars I choose this route. I can tell by the type of person you are and this thread that I would tend to get angry and defensive and since this is just the internet and support groups, I choose not to bring that sorta turmoil into my already hectic life. There is no reason to bring on unnecessary aggravation into my life, especially for someone who truly doesn't affect my life other than by my choice, which I could get wrapped up into a world of debate and I choose not to do that either.

No hard feelings - Peace be with you!

And once again the point is proven that stopping drinking does not necessarily remedy the problems within.

In an unfortunate way Sumi, you have reminded us of a valuable lesson. I wish you luck on your journey. I have a feeling it's going to be a long one.

Thanks Carebears64! I think we should support each other in maintaining abstinence and not get into posting wars. 15 years wow!
I am truly sorry I got into a war of words with you. I am getting a sense of over confidence after 1.5 years of abstinence which is a dangerous sign. I look forward to more inputs from you. I am sure that with your help my life can change for the better.
Thanks again!

i like support people in their efforts to sobriety - i lived in abstinence 10 years of my non drinking time - abstinence is easy to over come once you get over the hump sobriety is hard - but very well worth it!

Rick, yes I realized a valuable lesson from this thread - i realized how much our minds, thoughts, values and principals affect us when we are drinking and if no change is made how it still controls our life - this thought process makes me think hard and long about my sobriety, the journey i made, the days of just no drinking and the days of all the alcohol and drug education classes, anger management classes, relapse prevention classes, spirituality meetings with my pastor, all the reading, acceptance and forgiveness that i have done over the past 5 years - the journey i have taken and the one i continue onward with is one i never want to forget.

Rick I so bad don't want to be the person i once was, actually the person i was from about the age of 15-30 and 30-40 - i am now 45 and i am just learning who i want to be - many people i see say that want to find who there were before alcohol affected my life - that person for me was a child - i don't want to be a child again, i just want to be a decent person, have a clear conscious and do the right thing by God, myself, my children, my friends and people in general.

A valuable unforgettable lesson -


Peace!