If you look at married life in negative terms such as "stress" you should never get married. Sorry but that is a bizzare statement.

Hmmm, I thought the suggested rule was no big decisions for the first year....no new relationships...at least that is what my son says AA taught him...and people said the same thing (no big decisions) for a year after my dad dropped dead suddenly...
I have a question for you to consider...do you think that 7 months is going to make such a huge difference? if you are not happy with the idea now, what will change? If you are planning a big wedding, if you start now you could get married next year...would that be helpful?
what is stressful? the wedding or the idea of marriage? My marriage is not only not stressful, it helps me (or rather HE helps me) handle all sorts of things, from mundane to earth shattering.
I was 27 when I met my husband. We met -our first date April 30th, we were engaged by june 20th and married by september 10th the same year. we knew what we wanted in life and from a partner. we agreed on honesty, communication, fidelity, commitment, religion, children, finances etc...
My kids have been stressful...his health became stressful (after 25 or so years) but the marriage? not so much...Maybe you just don't want to get married...THAT would be stressful.

Any change-good and bad, is "stressful." The greatest things that happen to us in life-can strangely trigger us to run for cover (and for some, that means addiction). The top stressors in life, psychology data that I have looked at, are as follows: having a baby, getting married, going to college, getting a new job, moving, and then the negative: getting assaulted, losing a loved one, and such.

But stress is stress-good and bad! Think back when you were drinking-did you get triggered only by bad stress? Or did you want that drink at your wedding, on vacation, to "celebrate" a job promotion.....I mean, did having a wonderful spouse cure you? Anyone who thinks marriage, and especially getting married (if you are having a big wedding, moving in with person, changing where you live, perhaps more)....is not stressful is going into it blindly. It can be fantastic-but wow! It is work even in the greatest of situations.

I do think it is wise to ask this question. I do not think any amount of time can determine if you are ready though Sumital. I think it is more about how you are feeling and your stability in sobriety. What do you want out of marriage? Ask yourself if you and your partner are on the same page with goals and committment. I think many couples marry out of passion, and ask these important questions later.

So-have you sat down and asked about where you both want to be in 5 years? Ten years? What is important to you both in life-what does that look like on a daily basis?

I would suggest going to couples counseling before marriage to help with this process. It is something I wish I did! But of course-I got married when I was active in my disease, so no counseling would have helped at that time.

If you think Marriage will be stressful then perhaps you should wait.

When you meet the right girl you will be very happy and it won't be stressful.

Good Luck.

We do what we do. Just don't drink, no matter what. Get any other form of help you can. Be prepared for stress. Living gets stressful period. But if we never take risks we never really live. Living is a risky business, especially for those with addiction issues. Just keep hanging in there.

Best of luck. Good friends you have one here with lots of wisdom.

Sumitial, I assume your not a westerner by birth, customs vary by country but at 36 you certainly are "old" enough to think of marriage. If you have the tools to handle stress without drinking now then there should be no issue when you are married.

Marriage is very complicated and if you add children to the mix your life will be rich, joyous and chaotic. Life is messy. No one can advise you whether you should marry or not. Having a special person to share your life is wonderful when it is good and hell when it is bad. If you find a person you can trust, who you love more than your own life, who is kind, generous and supportive than you will do well to marry that person. In my day there was no question if you "fell" in love you got married. Perhaps its different today. At any rate congratulations on your sobriety and I wish you well.