Hi, I'm new to this group but, I really need some advice. My Uncle, Dad, Mom, and two brothers are all alcoholics. 2 years ago my dad died of it, last year my mom did. I played the supporter for all of them since I was 11 years old (i'm 33 now) I did it all lent an ear, gave them money, picked up the pieces, everything. After my mom's death, my brothers really fell apart. One was being completely supported by her and the other has always had a host of issues including bi-polar and other psychological issues he won't admit to me. The second brother I am talking about beat his wife, got kicked out of the army, and has now moved back to the city. I should mention that I have custody of his daughter because of his behavior and her mother is addicted to drugs. Anyway, my brother (who is 31 on Saturday) came back here and as with my younger brother, honestly I am done. I cannot go on doing this. I have my marriage, this little girl who has been through so much, and my 86 year old grandmother in a what is now alcohol and mostly drama free environment.
After being kicked out of the army, instead of facing the domestic abuse charges, my brother came back here and I would not help him. When I have let him live with me he steals from me, has hit my husband, and destroyed things in my life. When I have given him money, he blows in on alcohol. When I lend an ear, he lies to me. Today I got a phone call that after 3 months of being sober he is once again drunk and threatening to kill himself (this is the norm when he is drinking). I called him multiple times but, of course he did not pick up. I called my youngest brother (who is 28) to try and call him (he is doing great by the way since I stopped supporting him, he went to jail for a few months, got into a car accident, but leaving him to learn his own way really helped so far.) Anyway, my middle brother crawled out into the woods and passed out. If it were not for his friend than he would have died. My problem is, when his friend called to give me the information on the hospital he is in and the program he will enter, I told him honestly "I can't do this anymore". I don't want these phone calls, i can't care anymore. I know that is horrible but I just can't. Its not that I don't love my brother or that I don't care it is just that I am DONE. I've done it with too many people too many times and I just want peace. Yes I have his daughter but, she does not need to go through this either. She is just at the age where I really starting becoming aware of it and I don't want her subjected to it. When he last entered rehab (his third time in a year) I told him I will support him as long as he is sober but, he has a long way to go before I will trust him again. Now, three months later he has once again broke that trust.
I guess my problem is that when I talked to his friend, he made me feel so horrible for turning my back. He called me horrible names and how dare I leave him alone to hit rock bottom. He went to the last rehab meeting and they told him that it was the worst thing anyone could do because we would be signing his death warrant. In all the years that I have dealt with this, I have never once turned my back until recently. I really feel as if it is killing me. I get chest pains when the phone rings, I have three ulcers, and I really feel that I can't do this anymore. I thank god for those who want to continue helping but is it really so wrong that I don't?

Thanks for listening by the way. I wish I could type the whole story but, that would take forever. :)