Alanon support group Community Group
A place where anyone struggeling with a friends or family members drinking problems and how it affects your life i am no expert i am currently struggeling with the same thing and would encourage anyone who would like to share thoughts feelings any help we can give each other all ages welcome thanks Kev
I don't know if anyone is here in this group but I need to get this out.
Thanksgiving Eve my husband didn't come home. He stayed out drinking and God knows what else all night. And though I'm glad he didn't drive, I woke up to find him not home and no idea if he was ok. He called me at 9am to say he was on his way home and he acted all day as if nothing had happened. "Hi baby" "Love you honey". I did as alanon suggests and didn't engage him-no fights, no lectures-nothing. The next day I told him that I had been trying to control him and stop him from drinking and for that I am sorry. He is the only one who can make that choice and I had no right but it does effect me and my son and I don't have to like it. I don't have to be ok with it. I told him I was letting go and allowing him to make his own choices and I was going to take care of the only person I can-me. He said "Don't you think that we will become more distant and further apart fromone another?" I told him yes I do but you have said that if you have to change you will pack your bags and leave, so I am going to change the only person I can-me. He then said he retracts that statement and wants our marriage to work. Well-I thought to myself-that is yet to be seen.
The very next day-yesterday-he was gone all day for a wrestling tournament (he's a coach) and let me know he was going to dinner with a friend after. Then calls to tell me there is a party he wants to go to and would I like to go too. I said I didn't want to watch evryone get messed up-no thanks.He said "You're no fun now that you don't drink! Then he said he's going straight there then and "you're ok with that right?" I said no-I haven't seen you all day but you're free to do as you wish. He said, well i want to see you too but that would mean I would have to come home to you.
Well I'm not about to make anyone be with me cause I'm NO FUN, or come home to me cause they DON'T WANT TO! I'n]m so hurt and mad!! I've had it! He came home at 2:30 in the morning-smashed. I don't think I want to do this anymore. I don't deserve this!
I worry about my son. This could tear him apart!
Thanks for listening-if there is anyone there.
Terri
Thanksgiving Eve my husband didn't come home. He stayed out drinking and God knows what else all night. And though I'm glad he didn't drive, I woke up to find him not home and no idea if he was ok. He called me at 9am to say he was on his way home and he acted all day as if nothing had happened. "Hi baby" "Love you honey". I did as alanon suggests and didn't engage him-no fights, no lectures-nothing. The next day I told him that I had been trying to control him and stop him from drinking and for that I am sorry. He is the only one who can make that choice and I had no right but it does effect me and my son and I don't have to like it. I don't have to be ok with it. I told him I was letting go and allowing him to make his own choices and I was going to take care of the only person I can-me. He said "Don't you think that we will become more distant and further apart fromone another?" I told him yes I do but you have said that if you have to change you will pack your bags and leave, so I am going to change the only person I can-me. He then said he retracts that statement and wants our marriage to work. Well-I thought to myself-that is yet to be seen.
The very next day-yesterday-he was gone all day for a wrestling tournament (he's a coach) and let me know he was going to dinner with a friend after. Then calls to tell me there is a party he wants to go to and would I like to go too. I said I didn't want to watch evryone get messed up-no thanks.He said "You're no fun now that you don't drink! Then he said he's going straight there then and "you're ok with that right?" I said no-I haven't seen you all day but you're free to do as you wish. He said, well i want to see you too but that would mean I would have to come home to you.
Well I'm not about to make anyone be with me cause I'm NO FUN, or come home to me cause they DON'T WANT TO! I'n]m so hurt and mad!! I've had it! He came home at 2:30 in the morning-smashed. I don't think I want to do this anymore. I don't deserve this!
I worry about my son. This could tear him apart!
Thanks for listening-if there is anyone there.
Terri
-
My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
My occupation does not let me get online regularly. So I hope this not find you in joy and peace.
Tina
Alatot? My son is ten, is there a group for younger children?
My son and I had a discussion last night during which I asked him how he felt about Dad being gone all the time with his friends. His reply is haunting me. He said, "I miss him Mom, but what I really hate is how it makes you so angry!" I've been worried so much abouthow my husband's behaviors effect my son, when actually it's my own that is doing the most damage!
I am detaching from my husbands choices, but I am unable to do it lovingly.
Terri