Heya Sobe ~

I'm new to the group & was recently discussing this matter with my husband, as well. Open communication with your doctors, therapist/s (yes, plural in my case, ha!) & family can only help you. I've been through many meds ~ some which have wiped-out my personality according to others ~ all for the sake of being able to function without issues in public. It's frustrating to feel as though you're in a state of purgatory with your own progress; I can certainly relate with the sense of wanting to be left alone. I have to remind myself that eventually there will be a compatible formula for me, whether it be adjusting the dosage on a current medication, trying something new or altering my perceptions or thought patterns. Regardless of what has not worked yet for you, express your concerns with your doctor. I tend to be excessively inquisitive & overly-detailed (too often to a fault ;P ). Asking questions & being direct with your doctor can help all involved understand your situation & needs.

my doc doesn't listen very well, I've tried talking to him, I don't get the impression he is interested in anything other than prescribing meds. Looking for another doc is not possible at this time as no one is accepting new patients.

I am having similar problems with the Lexapro.After being on it for 5 weeks,I feel like i've stopped caring about most anything.This is not the results I had hoped for.I was hoping for some relief from anxiety attacks.Now I feel like I've lost myself somehow.I wish I had never started this med.I know i can stop it,but am trying to please my docs.I know that is wrong.I am also afraid the anxiety will come back full force if I stop.I have told my therapist all of this and they still want me to take this drug.I just don't get it.this can't possibly be how they want me to feel,can it????.....Oh I also can't cry anymore,its so wierd...

I can't cry anymore either. I still feel a bit of a downward push but that only seems to last a minute or so. Otherwise it's like I've flatlined emotionally.

I made an appointment to see my doc Tuesday afternoon, I don't want to continue the wellbutrin, and I also don't want to please my doc, it's me who has to make it through each day.

I really am starting to hate all these meds, all of them have side effects that further affect my quality of life

If you can't find another doctor, then try to find a therapist who will work with your doctor as your advocate. Many psychologists are able to coordinate medications with the doctor, and they are also able to get at what is really bothering you in order for you to get the most out of the medications that you take. You have to be clear what it is you are treating---depression, anxiety, both? Then you have to be very clear what trade offs you are willing to make to get relief from your symptoms. Some people with very bad panic attacks will do ANYTHING to get relief and then when they get on a drug they forget all about how bad everything was. You have to decide what price you are willing to pay, and then accept the fact that this may be what you have to put up with for a while, or you can keep searching for other drugs to help.

I think that for those who live in larger communities, there are more options available.
I have been trying to get another doc, none are taking patients, SPECIALLY if you already have a doc.
I have been to 3 therapists, of which two are shrinks. The first vowed up and down I'm either a drug addict or an alcoholic and wouldn't take no for an answer. So I left.
the second asked me what I had done for my agoraphobia thus far, so I told him, and he said there was nothing he could do for me as I knew what to do. So that was #2.
the third was a therapist/counselor, who said that meds are simply a form of dependency and no good and if I get anxious, just use pot. Needless to say I am no longer there either.
My file is getting very thick at the doctor's. He is one who pushes pills, doesn't care about side effects, actually gets angry if you complain about side effects being hard to deal with (such as my excessive sweating from the Citalopram, I have sweat pouring down my face, my hair is soaked, my back is soaked, that that is "my new normal". It makes me more anxious being out and being so sweaty in public. And that is just one of the side effects. His reply is "get used to it".

Hubby and I talk all the time, and I mean ALL the time. He is helping me deal with the Wellbutrin, helping me understand that it might be what I need right now as our financial house continues to be a mess and isn't letting up, so it's hard not to be depressed. Finances have always been my biggest fear, I am not able to work, so can't contribute with a paycheck, don't qualify for SSI as I've always been home raising our son, due in part to my agoraphobia, and I pretty much feel like I've let my family down.

Between the side effects of my meds and my anxiety, I am walking around in a fog all day, need lists to remember stuff, can't perform like I used to. All good and well to be medicated but it doesnt' affect everyone the same way. Unfortunately, it turns me into a zombie. And yes, the doc has suggested other meds (teling me to stop the one I'm on and switch to a new one right away, without a weaning period or anything. And those meds have their own side effects, seems the brain fog and the dizziness is a common one because those are lasting side effects for me)

I continue to do my daily routine, continue to fight each day to have a good day, but am I happy with these meds? NO!
Do the added side effects from the Wellbutrin make life easier? NO!
Hubby says that the worst of the side effects will pass, such as brain zaps, brain feeling bruised, extremely dry mouth and tingling of the tongue (as if you've just eaten one of those Valentine Cinnamon hearts).

I am noticing that if my emotions are like an elevator (sorry but visualizing helps me) , the elevator was shooting up to the top all the time and not really going all the way down anymore.
now with the Wellbutrin, it's trying to shoot to the top, but only reaching the 4th floor. I have some energy back, so can better get through each day.
However, emotion wise, it's only reaching the 4th floor either way, our son got some really good news the other day and when I used to be so thrilled for him, now I found myself being luke warm. When I think about anything, try to figure out anything, my brain actually starts feeling like it's bruised. When hubby and I talk, afterwards I just want to rip my brain out as it feels that bruised.

I have always been someone who does everything 180%, and the welbutrin is changing that. I seem to be doing life at 40%, and that scares me. That is not me and that is a change caused by this med.
I dont' want to lose myself in order to fit into society. Sorry but I don't.
I"ve done tons of trade off's. one of which is taking the wellbutrin right now so it's easier on everyone. For the past 20 some years I've adjusted, compromised, given in, fought, each day is a struggle to get just a little more out of it. Nothing has been taken for granted, trust me. When you have set backs and have to start back at square one as we all have to do, it's hard to take stuff for granted. Today I walked the dogs through the forested area, tomorrow I might not be able to get out that front door, I never know. it's not only my agoraphobia, it's noise levels, weather patterns, light / brightness, how much did I do the day before, how much is on my plate today, hormonal changes...

Anyone who knows me knows that I try and get a lot out of each day. they also know that I dont' like meds, never have. Meds help some agoraphobics regain a "normal" life again, some agoraphobics get a measure of a normal life with meds but not a full recovery.
I've been agoraphobic without meds for a very long time, half my life now.

Anyway, I am ranting, sorry. But as I'm talking about my life here, this topic is very close to my heart and I do want everyone to know that we're not all the same, nor do we respond the same way to meds, therapy ( depending on where you live, a good therapist may not be out there) and I really don' t want a newbie reading responses and thinking that they are doing something wrong.

End of rant

My two cents: The doctor works for you, not the other way around. I would refuse to see him and find some sort of authority to turn him into, just because I hate when people take advantage over people with anxiety issues just because they think they can get away with it.

I've been on so many medications over the years, I can't even keep track. I tried different ones every month for a year until we found that the combination of Lamictal, Lexapro, and Ativan worked. Then, suddenly, it didn't.

Various things have happened in my life that would require a publisher to actually get my story out there, but I am no longer on any medications except my Xanax for emergency panic attacks. I found that the side effects from the antidepressants outweighed the benefits (made me gain weight mainly, which made me even MORE depressed).

I have my good days and I have my bad days, but I've been reading a lot, putting myself in other people's shoes via books, been obsessing with this website, finding other ways to channel my depression rather than sitting and stewing about it.

I did a little test... I didn't tell ANYONE that I was off my medications (family/friend-wise.. of course the doctors knew) just to see if they'd notice something was different. It's been two months and I just started telling people this past Friday. My best friend's response? I seem more myself.. the way I was BEFORE I got sucked into the big black abyss that is depression.

Different strokes for different folks. Some things work like magic for some people, and for other people the same thing won't do jack. You just have to find what's good for you....

(Maybe you could talk to your insurance company, express your feelings about the pushing-the-pills-doctor and maybe they can help you find a doctor in your area that is accepting new patients AND accepts your insurance... just a thought.)

It sounds like you need a new doctor. You're the person its all about, not like being in school and having to respect your teacher. If you don't like the way your doctor is treating you, or how he distributes your medication, then find another one. Honestly, I think that will make a world of difference.

Also, just like having the right doctor having the right medication can take a while too. It's trial and error and it sounds like this one for you is an error. I would do my own research if I were you and then talk to your doctor about what you think would be a better fit for you. Also, in the meantime start shopping around for a better doctor.

Hope this helps!

oh gawd, what a ride!
The doctor actually took time for me ( I had complained about it) and said he wanted me to stay on the wellbutrin for about a year.He also told me that the side effects will lessen with time.

I told hubby that for now I'll stay on it. BUT...
yesterday I had a really bad reaction to what I think is the combination of the citalopram and wellbutrin. (I called the pharmacist and she said that is probably what it was)
it felt like all my nerve endings were short circuting (sp?) and like I had dentist freezing traveling all over my body, rendering parts frozen and then other parts, the entire day . I could barely walk, could barely do anything. So I stayed on the couch all day in fear that this was going to do damage to my brain. It certainly felt like it.
I did take the dogs to the park in the morning, figuring that this was just agoraphobia and I had to just force myself, but we got stuck at the park as I couldn't make it home again. I finally managed, by holding on to hedges and street signs, and then it occurred to me that this was more than simple panic.
the symptoms finally lessened towards evening and this morning my body just feels strangely cold and tingly.

I have a call in to my doc, and I'm not taking the meds till he tells me what the h*ll happened yesterday.

I told hubby last night that I am not going to try yet another med and go through all the side effects all over again, this bs has been going on for a year now and I'm tired of it. I am at my last straw here and would rather stop all meds and simply live in my house the rest of my life and never go out again. I am honestly at that point.

I'm so sorry!!! I hate meds and can only imagine what you had to go through yesterday. I'm so glad you were able to make it home OK, I feel your pain.

Sometimes I wonder if the side effects of meds are worth the "cure". I too was placed on a med that made me so off balance I was hearing voices in my head telling me to kill my husband and then kill myself, it was HORRIBLE! That was only after 2 days of taking it so I called my doc and told him I was never touching it again. He agreed but wanted to try out another. I haven't been ready to start the guinea pig roller coaster ride but I know I'll have to.

I know there has to be a good combination out there for you, and for me as well. All this trial and error is so frustrating though. *sigh* Why can't it be easier? Let me know if you need me. :o)

the doctor's office just called and I am not to take the wellbutrin anymore (I stopped taking it this morning anyway).
I have a follow up appointment next week, but I am no longer willing to try yet another med to see if that works.
I can make an ok life for myself with the citalopram only, I am tired of the brain zaps, the weird feelings, and the adjustment to the new meds, the re-adjustments as I'm coming off them again as well as never knowing if it's just agoraphobia or "real" problems, so I never know whether to fight stuff or whether it's ok to just go to bed.

I can relate.I had to stop the Lexapro due to side effects.Now I have just xanax for emergencies.I don't know if i'll ever be able to take anything else.why am i so sensitive to these side effects.Its so discouraging and the doctors are discouraging too.they don't tell you about half of the effects and then when it happens ,they look at you like your just complaining too much.sigh....

I've been off wellbutrin 4 days now and am finally starting to feel back to normal, whatever normal is,lol

I found out that one should not take wellbutrin if one's had head trauma and guess what I've had? yep, head trauma. and the doc knows that. it's in my chart.

I can finally focus my eyes again and can walk again without too much trouble, I haven't dared walk the dogs on my own again though, will try and do that tomorrow when the guys are home.

Amazing that only a few weeks on this crapola and there are side effects when you don't take it anymore. All these antidepressants are pure shiat!