Hi,

This is the first time I am really doing this. I have never visited a psychiatrist and this is a self-diagnosis. But come on how hard is it to realise that you have social phobia. I initially considered myself just an introverted person who takes time to open up to people. No big deal. But a month back when I moved to a new country I realised my problem is much much more complex. I don't talk to the people at work unless they talk to me first and constantly worry that they must hate me and think I am arrogant. They have reasons to. They are really nice people but I never initiate conversations unless strictly work-related. That too takes a tremedous amount of effort and about an hour of mental prep. Whenever I do manage to talk, I end up talking too fast and fear that I have made a fool of myself. I am always thinking that they are probably talking about me behing my back. The worst part is that I know these fears are baseless but cannot help it.

Aside from work too, I am terrified of entering new stores or trying out new things although I really want to. I am worried that i will embarass myself.

It really interferes with my daily life. Example yesterday I wanted to leave the office early because I did not have work but I couldn't muster the courage as 4 colleagues were talking right outside the office. In the end, I couldn't and left only when all of them had gone back.

The worst part is that I am not a person who is happy to be alone. I love talking to friends, going out and partying. But how can I when making friends is such an impossible feat?

Anyone just anyone who can relate?

Thanks!