Agoraphobia & Social Anxiety Support Group
Agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder, often precipitated by the fear of having a panic attack in a setting from which there is no easy means of escape. As a result, sufferers of agoraphobia may avoid public and/or unfamiliar places. In severe cases, the sufferer may become confined to their home, experiencing difficulty traveling from this "safe place."
"What's the Payoff?" I Found an answer!
I am reading the Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. Last night I came across an answer to one of my least favorite questions I hear doctors ask. The answer is, "we don't feel anxious".
Whenever I heard that question I took it as these people don't have a clue what it is like to have anxiety and they think we are getting some payoff that makes us look like we're doing it for attention. Dr. Phil has said things like, "You must be getting something out of or else you wouldn't be doing 'it'" and I think that sounds like we know how NOT to do it and we do it/feel it anyway. Now I see that is not the case at all.
Bottom line, we don't want to feel anxiety and fear so we stay in!
Something about reading that calmed me down and I felt less defensive about the question.
Betsy
I am reading the Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. Last night I came across an answer to one of my least favorite questions I hear doctors ask. The answer is, "we don't feel anxious".
Whenever I heard that question I took it as these people don't have a clue what it is like to have anxiety and they think we are getting some payoff that makes us look like we're doing it for attention. Dr. Phil has said things like, "You must be getting something out of or else you wouldn't be doing 'it'" and I think that sounds like we know how NOT to do it and we do it/feel it anyway. Now I see that is not the case at all.
Bottom line, we don't want to feel anxiety and fear so we stay in!
Something about reading that calmed me down and I felt less defensive about the question.
Betsy
"Your phobia is maintained because your avoidance behavior is so well rewarded: you don't have to reckon with the anxiety you'd experience if you confronted what you fear."
This is huge for me. If we can only learn that we can get the same reward without avoidance!
I think what all the books and counselors try to teach us is that there was a thought, probably very fast thought, that then sent a message to the body to prepare for fight or flight. The fight or flight is anxiety and fear and uptight.
Like this morning when I wake up, I am used to hyper-scanning the area for any little tiny thing wrong. "That looked weird, why?", "I feel off-balance, is something wrong?", etc. That's all it takes for me and the adrenaline and fear presents itself.
All the help is trying to get us in touch with the thoughts before they send then message to start feeling afraid.
Also, I think that is why we're supposed to do the relaxation audios daily. One cannot be afraid and relaxed at the same time.
"Your phobia is maintained because your avoidance behavior is so well rewarded: you don't have to reckon with the anxiety you'd experience if you confronted what you fear."
That is really true. it's a way of feeling balanced -- when you feel threatened.
great posting -- thanks!
I hate the question. Dr. Phil always asks it.
But, if the payoff is to avoid feeling scared...that is the payoff and I don't think that is unreasonable.