Hi, everyone. I wanted to face my fears and introduce myself. I can get nervous about judgment even when I'm anonymous. Anyway, I would love to be part of this community, and I thought I would see if anyone can relate to any experiences I've had. Thanks in advance for listening. 

I'm currently a teacher, which is a bit of a struggle for someone with social anxiety, but I've surprised myself with how used to it I've gotten. When it comes to school and my career, I can somehow get through the anxiety and put on a brave face. My problem socially is really everywhere else in my life. My whole life I've had trouble making and maintaing friendships. When I would finally become friends with someone, I would ultimately fail at maintaining it, and I feel extremely guilty about that. I avoid asking people to hang out with me because in the back of my mind, I'm worried that they really don't like me and that I'm annoying to be around. I basically completely isolate myself from everyone but my students (and sometimes family). It makes me feel so horrible about myself that I'm not there for other people, not a support for them. I kind of obsess over whether I'm narcisistic, actually, becuase I don't have a social circle that I support. Feeling this bad about myself contributes to depression. 

While I've had these issues my whole life, bad acne in my pre-teen and teen years really exacerbated the problem. While I've worked hard to care for my skin, and it's much better now, I never feel completely comfortable around people in natural lighting, for example, because I feel like it makes any flaws in my skin more obvious. I still struggle with how people judge my physical appearance, which has definitely contributed to the social anxiety. 

Thanks again for listening, and I really appreciate any responses in advance if you feel comfortable sharing.