Agoraphobia & Social Anxiety Support Group
Agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder, often precipitated by the fear of having a panic attack in a setting from which there is no easy means of escape. As a result, sufferers of agoraphobia may avoid public and/or unfamiliar places. In severe cases, the sufferer may become confined to their home, experiencing difficulty traveling from this "safe place."
I've had agoraphic tendencies and anxiety since I was a very small child. I came to understand that today while I was with my counselor. This was my first visit and it went pretty well. I have a sense of hope I didn't have before. As we talked and touched on my childhood I realized that as young as 4 or 5 I preferred being alone. I didn't like to go outside. I didn't like to play with other kids. I was most content in my room with my books and my dolls and toys. I NEVER spoke to adults other than my parents and a select few relatives. According to my parents I went through a phase where I was TERRIFIED of any man other than my father. I was really young, maybe two. But I would scream bloody murder and wrap myself around whichever parent was there, in a death grip. I rocked. Incessantly from the time I was a small baby. I rocked well into young adulthood and reverted back to that self soothing method frequently as an adult. Something that embarasses me and I never admit to anyone.
I was always uncomfortable in public situtations. It didn't get any better when I got older. I tried to be social. Even attended some slumber parties but I was overanxious the entire time I was home. Til' this day I am happiest at home. I know that is likely true for most people but for me it goes beyond just liking my home. I don't want leave my home. Ever. When I HAVE to I'm a ball of nerves and fear until I finally walk back in the door. The anxiety drops down INSTANTLY.
In a way it irks me that's it's taken me forty plus years to figure out that I have very real problems. I can't really blame my parents. It was a different time. Stressing over it won't change it or fix it but knowing it gives me an insight I didn't have before. And that's something.
Thank you for coming forward to share your experience! While like you, I don't feel that staying at home most of the time is not an issue, however, no man is an island. We all need human companion from time to time. An insight I gained when I was alone is that while I really love 'alone' time, sometimes being with friends whom we trust helps provide fresh perspectives about things whenever we need it. Our social 'battery' just don't last as long as most people do and that's ok! Hope this helps! keeping you in my prayer!
I'm hoping through therapy, this site and eventually reaching out to support groups through my counseling service I will be able to find ways to cope with and manage all of my problems. I don't think I will ever be "cured" and will always likely need some sort of medication and maybe even lifelong counseling. I'm just going to take one step at a time, sometime probably one hour at a time, but I'm keep going. :)