Hey there,
You're not alone. I am currently laying on the couch watching tv as well, which is quite unlike me. My anxiety has caused me to go into hiding where i only feel safe at home and leaving my house causes my heart to race and my throat to tighten up. It is important to remember that this will not last forever, it is also important to talk about why we feel this way and get to the root of the problem, which can also be quite exhausting. We will get through this, :)

I sure can relate to that...and I'm almost 62. Things for me started manifested big time 16 years ago. Also, 16 years ago I found a note on nightstand, I thought it was a love note from my husband. It wasn't a love note....it was a hate note. I still have it and cannot let it go. I understand emotional illness and it is so sad that so many people don't. People label me....and it hurts....God Bless you.

I can totally relate too. I am such a loser that is is not even funny. okay, you are not a loser until you come tld it be too much to thise board and write about it, the guy from the FBI must say each time he comes to make sure that I am coming here each day to fill in my quota about how much I hate this state I live in. would I t be too much to not have a prostitute actively working for clients every two houses or so??? is there a way to make money these days without being lithe and fifteen and bored looking, or over 65+ and lovin' it?
I am caught between 25 and 75 like that new blythe danner take down or commercial, however you choose to call it.
and don't let's pretend that chris isn't coming on this board to and show you how to get those irish people gone, he likes to say behind my back in 'coded' language....oh what am I going to do, I am so ugly and he isn't coming back as the prince of the racket he says he is all the time, in that Harvard business school kind of way when he f**ks my sister, as he is set up to do today now that I have 'hurt him'.

I know, 'hwat kind of a loser sleeps with your sister because he is mad at YOU???

he does.

he hates u s irish.


and worse he is such a loser she used to cry herself to sleep about what a loser he is, but now she is too, because of you know, being irish, that the two of them have bad sex and then come and cry like two cry babies because they can't stand each other but don't know how to 'get off' any other way than to 'sacrifice' like the saducees.

oh, you!!!

no, I should just go get in bed now, you big sissy.

take care and ta ta for now.

I do the exact same, the minute I get up I set up my laptop and I'm set for the day just laying in bed. I have a fear of leaving my house to walk around my neighborhood but I can go other places though, which I find strange.

I totally understand.. I mean, right now, I'm just sitting on my laptop on my parent's couch, doped up on Xanax because thinking about my life makes me panic. I never had a job, I'm terrified to drive (mainly because of where I live, though), and every time I tried to physically go to college I would panic and cry and go home. I never do anything alone and am totally dependent, which kills me to even admit. My best and only friend I've had since I was 4 is a social butterfly and has worked so many different jobs and knows exactly how to talk to anyone.. It amazes me. I have no idea how to help myself, I've asked my family and therapist and have never gotten anything more than "get over it" or some other bullshit. People really don't understand how any of this feels, and you can't begin to make them understand. That's what is most frustrating to me. But knowing there are people that actually CAN relate completely and don't think you're imagining things is a relief in itself. We just have to take small steps and acclimate ourselves, even though it is really tough and scary. My friend has been taking me out for a while now and trying to ease me into socializing and it's been helping me. I do get to go outside and not totally panic, but I only wish I could do that for things that matter, like schooling or looking for a job. Try to find someone like my friend who will help you slowly face the world. And know that it's okay to be struggling, because that just means you're human. Everyone struggles with something, even if we can't see it. You are never the only one with your problem. We just have to find the others like us. Be strong and don't give up. I've come a long way and I'm still a total wreck. But you can do it. We all can. We just need to believe and make the magic happen.

I can relate. When I am in crowds I still suffer with panic, but I learned to control it through breathig. I try to leave my house to face my fear walking as much as once a day. Even if I just visit my friends in the neighborhood seemed to become too much but I sort of forced myself to learn coping skills to deal so when I do panic I have hope that it will pass, and grabing your housekey before you leave will come as natural to you as sleep soon enough a little at a time, maybe sit out on your front step for just 30 seconds at a time. Baby steps and know this, You are not alone. Heidi

Oh yeah ...do the same here. I watch too much tv because I never want to go out. In fact half the time Its on just for background noise so Im not so lonely. People say things "oh, it must be nice to get to watch tv all day" and that hurts becuase I rather not have this disorder. Stick with those who can relate. Im learning my life is not anything less.... its just different from theirs.

I can relate and understand how you feel. Most days I can't go out of my house except if it's early in the morning or late at night when there aren't many people around. And those are the hours I choose to work, so I won't have to mix socially.....at all.

I do go to Church on Sundays, and feel safe there. But like this weekend, I can't even go out in my yard because the Armory is next door and it's a drill weekend. Most days I can't go out of the house because I don't want anyone to see me.

I have two friends who understand me completely. One used to take me everywhere, and it was okay because I was with her and her son, but she moved to Maine. Another friend (Her husband is agoraphobic) is moving to Connecticut in two weeks :(

My sister gave me some advice and I try to keep it in mind, that "When you go out, people are doing their own thing, and not paying attention to you." And I was lucky enough to have a case manager years ago who help desensitizing me to places like the grocery store, the bank and the PO...places where I can't avoid going.

So 90% of the time I am alone, at my computer. I don't have a tv but watch a lot on YouTube. And since I found DS I'm on here a lot. But when I'm out I always try to remember what my sister said, and that helps a lot.

I know I didn't give much advice...other people have done a very good job at that. But I do want you to know that I'm out here too...

HUGS,
nifer

I've had bouts of agoraphobia and depression, they kinda mix together. My first one was after college when I moved home and the next was after I was fired from a job. I now have a better paying job and drive. I still have anxiety but am managing. It was a long road my bouts lasted 1 year or so and it took a long time for me to drive. Hang in there . I forced myself to do little stuff beginning with taking forever to write a resume or call. I made imaginary calls for jobs or I'd call part of the number and hang up.

They probably have therapy for this. Maybe look into that. I am the same way but am getting too old for college. I kind of like my alone life. Keep busy with tv, youtube, meditation, playing with the cats and so on. I am going to get old this way. But it ain't much of a problem to me. If it were I would see a psych. Good luck.

Hi Amandasmith, I totally understand how u feel. I was homebound for 8 years. The world was so scary. I've been in therapy for almost 5 years and can now go out in the mornings and do just about anything. I am still afraid to venture out in the afternoon, but am working on it. Without therapy, I don't know what I would of done. Do you have access to any kind of help, therapy, skype, or phone therapy? I am brand new to this group. I was a member of Support Groups but they shut the site down with no warning. I am here to offer you support and to listen. U r not alone. Agoraphobia is a horrible disorder.