Afraid and Confused about God Community Group
This group is for those who: (1.) may be people like me, who have spent time seeking God through involvement in church and religion, and/or personal study and for some reason still find themselves confused and hurting, (2.) those who think they may be in a cult/or those coming out of a cult and are in need of support without the fear of being controlled and manipulated,...
I have come to this group in search of hope, and healing from others who have perhaps had a similar confusing experiance about the nature of God. I have had many such confusing encounters with the almighty, (all - might - ee ..... - oh - that hurts!!)
Below is a journal entry that I wrote, containing the details of a specific experiance I had with my parents, and religion, in relation to God.
I hope and pray that this message meets with understanding, compassion, and perhaps some sub - conscious wisdom.
EXORCIST
He held me close, loved me, cried tears of sincerity, "oh why must my boy hurt so?"
"what is the cause of this pain?" He tried to heal me, did everything in HIS power to cure me. He sent me away, because he cared, sent me to see a shrink, but who was really a witch - doctor, one of those guy's out of the mid - evil period, from the ancient catholic church, with demented figurines of the mother of god peering down into the tomb of her only begotten. While the 12 - appostiles stand like soilders wielding fierce holy expressions to ward off the gargoils, and the sins of Satan.
This was my fall, I lay on the bed, with the power of the Lord's anointed, he told me to repent, that the priesthood of Jesus was bestowed upon him, and that if I would only forgive then the mantel would be passed to another, and the bitter cup would be taken from my lips. Otherwise, I would be on my own, without friend or family to boy me up, into a man.
My Mother smiled sweetly, encouraging me to go through into the submission, so that this exorcisim might be a sucessful one. Her face distorted in the pain, like a mask melting away into oblivion.
Rage filled me, he said I had a demon in me, many demons, and that he could cure me, ....
Holding up this tiny broken cross, I do not believe, therefore I am all alone....
(so they say)
--The exorcist--
Below is a journal entry that I wrote, containing the details of a specific experiance I had with my parents, and religion, in relation to God.
I hope and pray that this message meets with understanding, compassion, and perhaps some sub - conscious wisdom.
EXORCIST
He held me close, loved me, cried tears of sincerity, "oh why must my boy hurt so?"
"what is the cause of this pain?" He tried to heal me, did everything in HIS power to cure me. He sent me away, because he cared, sent me to see a shrink, but who was really a witch - doctor, one of those guy's out of the mid - evil period, from the ancient catholic church, with demented figurines of the mother of god peering down into the tomb of her only begotten. While the 12 - appostiles stand like soilders wielding fierce holy expressions to ward off the gargoils, and the sins of Satan.
This was my fall, I lay on the bed, with the power of the Lord's anointed, he told me to repent, that the priesthood of Jesus was bestowed upon him, and that if I would only forgive then the mantel would be passed to another, and the bitter cup would be taken from my lips. Otherwise, I would be on my own, without friend or family to boy me up, into a man.
My Mother smiled sweetly, encouraging me to go through into the submission, so that this exorcisim might be a sucessful one. Her face distorted in the pain, like a mask melting away into oblivion.
Rage filled me, he said I had a demon in me, many demons, and that he could cure me, ....
Holding up this tiny broken cross, I do not believe, therefore I am all alone....
(so they say)
--The exorcist--
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My 5 year old came forward on March 5th That another child in his class was reaching into his pants under his underwear and touching his penis each time he was in this class. The offending child and him sat alone at the table, clearly out of sight. He was trapped because he was afraid of disrupting class and afraid of the other kids, laughing if they knew what happened. The disturbed child...
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I was in an abusive relationship for 17 years it's the only relationship I've ever even been in so what I thought of as love im now finding out wasn't love at all and that sucks my dad says things like I just need to let it go and it's insulting frankly. I let it go for 17 years just because I'm no longer being abused doesn't mean the pain and anger are gone. I refuse to let it go when I was...
I have cried many tears over how I have raised her in her earlier years. She is only 14 now so I still have time to try to undo or at least stop some of the brainwashing and shaming before more damage gets done. Thankfully, she is not bitter. In fact, as *I* grow OUT of this religion, she is starting to cling to it. UGH.
I am so glad to have met you. Interestingly enough my Mom's name is Debbie, and this is a subject, that I am just bringing up with her. It has been 10 years, and finallly we are starting to open the doors to this pain.
I will respond more later...
ben
Finishing up....
It sounds like we may have a lot to offer each other in the way of healing from these our collective experiances. I think that there are many others out there, who have been greatly effected by what these church's are covering up, and calling "religious" work.
I think the ecclisiastical leadership is driven by power abusive men, who act in the name of God, and that in and of itself is abuse.
Calling these "holy" annointings, is very misrepresenative of what a sprititual union with the Divine should feel like.
I think there are many such exorcisms that take place and are consequentially covered up by the closed doors of the church.
I am very open to sharing the rest of my story and finding out more about your story.
When did you finally deciede to leave your church?
What were the results of leaving?
What is your relationship like with your dauther? (then and now)
What was it like for you, when the bishop did the annointing?
What are your views on God now, at this point in your life?
Thanks for the response.
Sincerely
Ben Bingham
Ps have you heard of the Rite, with Anthony Hopkins? It's a new release film, about Exorcisms.
One of the Apostles, Paul, stated that as believers we are to strive to have the mind of Jesus Christ. This witch Doctor OBVIOUSLY did not have the mind of Jesus Christ, nor the authority of Jesus. Otherwise he'd have not orderred you to do anything to enable the demons to be cast out of you. Those who had demons cast out of them by Jesus and the Apostles did not have to do a thing to have them casted out. Thus they did not have to forgive anybody at all. Forgiveness as a means of having demons cast out is completely unbiblical. Again I'm sorry for the experience you went through. It was a heinous experience. Is there any mature and loving Christians that you know who you can share this experience with? This was devastating for you and you have the right to be comforted by such Christians.
YOUR EXPERIENCE IS SCARY, CHILDREN ARE INNOCENT, THEY NEED THE PRAYERS OF GODLY PARENTS, AND THEIR LOVE, HUGS LUCY**