i was born into hell. Most people half to do something really bad to get into it, but i was born into it. My dad was a drug dealer, My mom worked the streets.
By the age of five my brothers had already started molesting me. My sister would make me do all the chores while she went out with mom. It was lucky if i got anything to eat at all. on my eigth birthday i was raped, and made to work the streets as well but my brothers always got first dibs. If i didnt do what they wanted i was hit and hit and whipped with a belt until i did.
finally, at the age of seventeen, i ran away. with just a teddy bear i had found in a dumpster one day (still have that bear). I spent a year on the streets, doing drugs and making money the only way i knew how.
One day, i nearly over-dosed. Mike (who is now my hubby) found me and brought me to the hospital. He brought his mom and dad there and they offered me a deal. If i stayed clean and worked in their italian resturaunt then i could stay at there place. I made the best choice of my life then and agreed.
It took me almost two years to stay clean for more then three months but i finally did it. Cause of Mike, he was there every step of the way. through every nightmare, every panic attack. durring that time we fell in love, but neither of us wanted to get married so we started dating.
One year after that he proposed and we got married a year after that and then adopted our twin boys.
Now, in the present time, we have six year old twin boys and i am pregnant with triplets!
i still deal with nightmares, flashbacks, panic attacks. I cant sleep if its completely dark cause i am scared i will wake up and all this will be some dream. i still fight the urge to get high, altho Mike helps alot with that. all in all tho live has turned out alot better then i ever thought it was going to.

i just thought i would share my story. and hopefully get help with the nightmares and panic attacks. lol.