Oral Health and Dental Issues Support Group
You only have one set of teeth for life, so take good care of them. This is the place to discuss oral and dental care, good practices, dental office experiences, and general thoughts around those pearly whites.
I love my fiance but his teeth are beginning to come between us. He chews on cigars all day long. He smokes one cigar a day and about two pipes. He has no health insurance, so has not seen a dentist in years.
I don't know what to do. I can hardly even kiss him any more. Our intimacy is suffering.
And - almost as important (at least to me) is that I am extremely ashamed of his teeth. They look almost brown - and the bottom teeth have plaque/tartar between each one about half way up.
What do I do? How do I say something to him? Do I offer to pay for a trip to the dentist? Do I buy whitening strips for him? How do I do this delicately? I don't want him to feel ashamed of himself, but this is really becoming more than a issue, more like an obsession, with me....
thanks in advance.
I don't know what to do. I can hardly even kiss him any more. Our intimacy is suffering.
And - almost as important (at least to me) is that I am extremely ashamed of his teeth. They look almost brown - and the bottom teeth have plaque/tartar between each one about half way up.
What do I do? How do I say something to him? Do I offer to pay for a trip to the dentist? Do I buy whitening strips for him? How do I do this delicately? I don't want him to feel ashamed of himself, but this is really becoming more than a issue, more like an obsession, with me....
thanks in advance.
Life is tough enough without obsessing over a someone else's rotten mouth.
I have a similar issue though not as bad as my boyfriend doesn't smoke. But he doesn't always brush when he should and never sees a dentist.
As you probably know a good thing to do is get him to give up smoking. This would save money so he could then afford a good dentist. It isn't just the yucky mouth that is a problem with smoking, he is doing all kinds of damage to himself and if he doesn't have insurance this damage will be hard to repair. I don't know about chewing tobacco but I don't think that is healthy either. Could he switch to chewing gum? Some brands have stuff in that is good for mouth hygiene and then he would still have something to chew.
1. if you cant stand kissing him, how will you continue to enjoy married intimacy?
2, if you cant be honest (and this takes courage) about his teeth and how you feel, why do you think you will enjoy a lifetime with him? If you can't discuss his oral hygiene, how will you be able to discuss some reallyt important issues that may come up in a marriage..like intimacy, fidelity, and illness?
3. please, spare yourself some pain and improve your communicatin skills BEFore you marry the guy...it will save you (and possibly others ike your kids) a huge amount of pain later.
There are a lot of factors that can contribute to a poor oral health, and addressing all of them will not be easy, or cheap, but of course the first step will be a visit to the dentist.
This is something your fiance should pay for, and have a vested interest in. If he gets dental work handed to him, it's likely he'll need more soon.
I found this great video clip from Dr. Oz on Sharecare.com's Heath Reference QA site:
http://www.sharecare.com/question/what-do-about-bad-teeth
It's a short clip pertaining to what it's like to have a bad teeth and, and why reconstructive surgery is sometimes necessary. Check it out.
Best to you,