Adult Children of Alcoholics Community Group
A Support Group for Adult Children of Alcoholics
The Laundry List
1. We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures.
2.We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process.
3.We are frightened by angry people and any personal critcism.
4.We either became alcoholics, we married them or both,or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs.
5.We live life from the viewpoint of victims and are attracted by the weakness in our love and friendship relationships
6.We have a overdeveloped since of responsibility.of responsibility,and its easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves; this enables us to not look too closely at our own faults, etc.
7. We get guilt feeling when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.
8. We became addicted to excitement.
9. We confuse love with pity and tend to "love" people we can "pity" and "rescue."
10We have "stuffed" our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts so much (Denial),
11. We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self- esteem.
12We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings,which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us.
13. Alcoholism is a family disease; we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of that disease even though we did not pick up the drink.
14. Para- alcoholics are reactors rather than actors.
Tony A. ( 1978 )
What a blessing, to have been exposed to this information early in my sobriety and now A.C.A.or A.C.O.A. has it own Big Book.In 2006 the first edition was published. On New years Day of 2008 I went to a Alanon meeting in Tulsa, I had been working out town and life had become quite difficult with the significant other.The Alanoners suggested a A.C.A.meeting, which I had not attended in a number of years. It was a phenomenal meeting .I now have a Text book for living, a Blue Big Book (A.A.) and Red Big Book(A..C.A, Alcoholic/Dysfunctional Families) The Book includes an Introduction by both Claudia Black and Charles Whitfield . Along with so much information on the nature of being raised in a dysfunctional home its affects , step work to address the issue and everything needed to find an A..C. A. meeting in your town. It also info on how too start your own meeting.and so much more. The Laundry list has been read at ACA meeting in the beginning of the meetings since !978.
Billy C.
1. We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures.
2.We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process.
3.We are frightened by angry people and any personal critcism.
4.We either became alcoholics, we married them or both,or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs.
5.We live life from the viewpoint of victims and are attracted by the weakness in our love and friendship relationships
6.We have a overdeveloped since of responsibility.of responsibility,and its easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves; this enables us to not look too closely at our own faults, etc.
7. We get guilt feeling when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.
8. We became addicted to excitement.
9. We confuse love with pity and tend to "love" people we can "pity" and "rescue."
10We have "stuffed" our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts so much (Denial),
11. We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self- esteem.
12We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings,which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us.
13. Alcoholism is a family disease; we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of that disease even though we did not pick up the drink.
14. Para- alcoholics are reactors rather than actors.
Tony A. ( 1978 )
What a blessing, to have been exposed to this information early in my sobriety and now A.C.A.or A.C.O.A. has it own Big Book.In 2006 the first edition was published. On New years Day of 2008 I went to a Alanon meeting in Tulsa, I had been working out town and life had become quite difficult with the significant other.The Alanoners suggested a A.C.A.meeting, which I had not attended in a number of years. It was a phenomenal meeting .I now have a Text book for living, a Blue Big Book (A.A.) and Red Big Book(A..C.A, Alcoholic/Dysfunctional Families) The Book includes an Introduction by both Claudia Black and Charles Whitfield . Along with so much information on the nature of being raised in a dysfunctional home its affects , step work to address the issue and everything needed to find an A..C. A. meeting in your town. It also info on how too start your own meeting.and so much more. The Laundry list has been read at ACA meeting in the beginning of the meetings since !978.
Billy C.
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So mad at Xfinity! They're trying to charge me $115 per month for the same service I had been paying $50 the last four years. I took the equipment to UPS for shipping and cancelled my subscription today! Next door was a cookie shop called Crumbl. I had heard of it before but never went in until today. I don't need one more sugar fix, but maybe it will help with my sad) grieving heart....$15...
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Woke up feeling very emotional and about to clock in at my place of employment. And can't place it all in writing but not been a good experience with my store manager or his boss. Defamation of my character is a concern. I've been losing appetite and weight. Trying to perform at work to keep myself from hospitalization as a result of toxic masculinity.
7. We get guilt feeling when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.
In '97, I had to have shock treatments to get over all the years of abuse. What a relief. But now I'm having to live with my handicapped & elderly dad who is 89 yrs old.
For some reason he still loves to tell lies about me.
I joined this group to deal with the issues he causes me.
2 &3---yes.
4. too depressed to be compulsive.
5,6,7--yes.
8-dont know. 9--yes.
10---I was definitely brain dead, for decades; in middle age to figure things out, way the some criminal in prison for decades finally realizes stuff.
11-yes. 12 & 13 no.
14---yes to reacting instead of acting.
This reminds me of a question I asked earlier this week:
13. Alcoholism is a family disease; we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of that disease even though we did not pick up the drink.
My sister reminds me of a practicing alcoholic.
Billy
God Bless
Tony Anonymous