Adult Children of Alcoholics Community Group
A Support Group for Adult Children of Alcoholics
My mother died from sirosis at the age of 52 and even though it has been many years since her death, I still have occasional feelings of guilt, I thought I had this all resolved through group therapy relating to recovery from my own addiction problems. Through role playing in which some of the participants and some observers actually broke down into tears, I revisited my past which hurt tremendously and I wondered if I did enough to help her with her problem.
Not sure where to go with this now except to say I don't really know how to "let go" of the guilt completely.
It seems to be holding me down and sucking the life out of me.
Does anybody understand what I just said?
Not sure where to go with this now except to say I don't really know how to "let go" of the guilt completely.
It seems to be holding me down and sucking the life out of me.
Does anybody understand what I just said?
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So mad at Xfinity! They're trying to charge me $115 per month for the same service I had been paying $50 the last four years. I took the equipment to UPS for shipping and cancelled my subscription today! Next door was a cookie shop called Crumbl. I had heard of it before but never went in until today. I don't need one more sugar fix, but maybe it will help with my sad) grieving heart....$15...
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
I know for myself that by growing up in a Alcoholic home, I took on alot of roles. I'd either blame myself for what was happening. Or I would just try to be real good in hopes that would solve the family issues. I got real tired of that and when I was 11 I just said #### it . I ended up just like my Father. But I got sober, and started to realize , how much I felt like I did not not deserve this gift. My father died 10 yrs. ago do to complications directly related to his Alcoholism. I was relieved , the suffering was know over for him. My guilt always used to lie in , blaming myself for loved ones who suffer : because like I said I still don't always feel like I deserve it. If I would done this or that ,They would have understood and received help. I always gauge my worth on what I can or do do for others. Bob Earll an AA speaker coined a phrase " My Life and the People who lived It"
I just try to stay current as to what is going on around me> But at least I know where these things stem from and try to address the misconceptions I still hold as Truth ( Its my Reality but I have to challenge my learned behavior to get better). The Grief Recovery Handbook may be helpful( John James)
High Hopes, Billy
A few Al-anon meetings would not hurt.
Luvyz
Crusty Jim
Pg. 120
I grew up with guilt and blame, amidst harsh criticism and constant fear. Even now, after years of Ala-non recovery, when past mistakes come to mind I tend to react with guilt, exaggerating the significance of my errors and thinking very badly of myself.
In Ala-non I'm learning to see myself more realistictly. Sure, I have wrestled with alcoholism and taken a fall or two. I've made plenty of mistakes that had nothing to do with alcoholism. But I'm not evil. It's time I stop treating myself as if I were.
There was a time when the only power I felt I had was to mess things up. Today, because I am learning to believe in myself and my life, I am free to look at my mistakes without blowing them out of proportion. I can learn to stop repeating those errors, and I can make ammends for the harm I have done.
Today's Reminder:
I will not chain myself to the past with self-defeating guilt, or by inflating the importance of my errors. Instead, I want to face my past and heal old wounds so that I may move forward into a richer, fuller, and more joyous life today.
"You don't have to suffer continual chaos in order to grow."
John C. Lilly
Another thought that I had for you is to make a "GOD BOX". Write down all the things that are bothering you and put them in the box. Then turn them over to GOD. I hope this helps you.
Big HUGS my friend, LisaACOA