My sister is the golden child. She alcoholic , unemployed and my mother supports her. I am the one who is the dependable one . I hold down a job was always there for my parents. I am the one who is disinherited
and get blamed if I didn't do it. I can't begin to describe how bad thins has hurt me.

AnnaMarie34

My mother called me one day to tell me she was writing her will and she was leaving everything to my sisters and brother. We had no problems then, and I still don’t understand why she would call me up to hurt me like that. As far as I’m concerned, she has nothing I want material wise. I wanted her love, not her house.

I feel pity for my mother’s ignorance and favoritism now. I was angry for a long time when dealing with my grief. Now I think she’s going to reap what she sowed. I can picture her favorite daughter stealing her pain medications while she’s laying in her death bed, because they taught her that is was okay to hurt others and get away with it. They deserve each other.

I’ve reunited with my other sister, and we get along great. We are even planning a beach trip together. We’ve formed a bond out of my mother’s favoritism for the other two siblings. My mother had all the siblings in a triangulation where we spoke to each other through her, but I broke that and started going to my other sister without my mother.

I know you’re hurting right now, and I want to give you a big hug and let you know that it’s going to be alright. You’ll make it through this even though it may not feel like it right now.

I grew up use to extreme favouritism towards my younger siblings originating mainly from the malicious step-mother for most of our childhood along with her other abusive issues, until that is I became a parent myself and I could see history repeating itself on far too many occasions, favouritism against my children amongst the grandchildren by the same woman while my father watched contently every time,and I finally refused to accept this any longer when one of my children asked "Why do we get treated different?" and after a few heated words with my father and some home truths the door was slammed..........
.........18 years later, its a hard, thoughtful road but estrangement was the only option and the right one by me and my family,"favouritism" was my burden to carry and will never be my children's.

if nothing else "favouritism" has taught me a valuable lesson in life, I may well have committed myself,

remember,They had their favourites.....they can look after them! Their loss!

UnlovedDaugh I appreciate your kind words and the hug. Sending you a great big hug.

AnnaMarie34

Outcast I agree with you.

No... My parents try to make it seem like there's a favorite to manipulate whoever they're saying that to. My parents are just evil, their favorite human is themselves

My brother is the golden child. I have let him know that I believe our mother is narcissistic and sent him web links to what this means. His wife responded that they don't want to be involved in this.
I told them fair enough, I didn't expect a positive response from them at all, but need them to know why there will be no contact from me to my mother or the reverse.
My mother does this 'triangulation' thing I read of, so when I am Skyped by my brother, she is more often than not sitting out of range for the beginning of the conversations and we can tell because everything has a very negative vibe to it.

He can't help it.
The favoritism he is and has always been shown really plays no part in my need to be estranged. He loves our mother and is constantly manipulated by her, I am understanding as to why he cannot see it and I am understanding as to why I trigger him to become aggressive if I challenge her facade of being this wonderful person.

I feel sad that he too has been abused and cannot and will not see things in that light, the sadness I feel is because I fear for him that he will never become a whole person, a man in his own right. And he is married now too, so I fear for them that they will relive the cycle in one form or another. They don't have children yet, but I am sure I would worry for them too.
There isn't anything beyond worry that I can do, just always keep the door open to him so long as he is not abusive toward me.
I am not responsible for his personal growth and happiness and I am not responsible for putting him through the hell of realizing the fullness of my evil mother.
But I am happy to be responsible for always keeping my heart open to him and I am happy to be here for him should he ever be ready to really want to talk or connect about anything.

I am also struggling with feelings of guilt as I do wonder if she'll turn on him once she realizes I want nothing to do with her, though perhaps she will create, or rather continue to create a whole fictitious persona for me to feed her needs. Frequently there are smear campaigns, I don't see that stopping just because I have no contact with her.

It is part of the triangulation process. Favoritism produces the golden child. Scapegoat is the perfect term for the other child. I think it plays out like an external manifestation of an internal "splitting" process. Narcissists are trying to suppress some internal conflict. But they can't so they act the way they do because their internal wiring is all messed up.

With my own NM it is definitely a choice as she switches it on and off instantaneously at will.

Having a golden child sibling hurts because he cannot see so clearly the fog she's put around him all his life.
I hurt because I think I could have had a nice normal sibling and I don't.
It effects my choice to go NC because it makes it all the clearer that the situation is the worst I'd fear.