Not at all prepared for my father's death. I am so angry & hurt by him that I cannot bring myself to contact him. We have not spoken since he sent me a very hurtful letter after years of other things he has done to psh me away. I didn't have anything to hold on to so I let go. He is not well but he is well enough so socialize with friends. Yet he makes no effort to repair our broken relationship. It is always me. He does nothing on his part to contribute to fixing anything. I am exhausted. I am tired of one-sided relationships in my family. I just don't know how I'm going to handle it when he gets really sick or is in the hospital or even his funeral. That side of the family (the side that bows to him no matter how hurtful he is) probably would not want me at his funeral. I wish I could have him back in my life but everytime we talked or saw eachother, I would get upset. It seems a little easier to just cut him out of my life & try to be happy without him in it. If he wanted me back in his life, I would think he would make some kind of effort. I know that someday he will not be here. But I am always the one who has to work on our relationship. He has never been a father to me. I have always been the parent & I am so tired.

I am trying to prepare myself for my mother's death because I know that she is getting older and won't be here much longer. She is so mean and hateful toward me and my son. I have tried very hard to have a positive relationship with her. Feel like I have already started to grief because I don't have a relationship with my mother.
It has been a year since I talked to her. I tried to talk to her and explain how I felt . It didn't do any good. I talked to one of mother's church friends about my mother. She said my mother still hates me and I should stay away form my mother. My mothers friend church is afraid of my mother and only goes to visit my mother because it is her church assignment. It makes me sad. It best to stay away form my mother . It is not safe to visit her. I never thought I would be in this kind of a situation with my mother.It is hard not to be angry and hurt by what me mother has done to my son and I.It really hurts that she doesn't want to see my son and I in her life. The last year my health has been so much better. I think being around my mother caused me a lot of stress and the stress made me sick.

My father was not abusive, he died a few years ago.
I'll never know how much he did or did not know and understand of the horrifically unfair treatment doled out against me by my mother and the way she also abused my brother by treating him so very different to me, he is the Golden child and now a married man I fear for the difficulties that may and probably do lie ahead for him and his own family.

My mother stopped me from seeing her parents when they died, I cried for over a year for them, they loved me unconditionally. I was not prepared for the mental torture my mother would lay ontop of my deep grief.

My mother also was very abusive around the time of my father's death, going so far as to accuse me of wishing incest with him amongst many other things and a massive smear campaign that reached overseas and across countries to where I lived, people seemed to not notice how impossible her accusations were due to my location, but bought them wholesale anyway.

My grandmother (another one) died and I was cast out and had to beg around for somewhere to stay to attend her funeral, my mother misdirecting me to ask her friend, telling me she wanted me near at such a time, only for me to call her firmed who'd been fed a line of lies and false accusations against me, her friend who told me I was so despicable I was not welcome in their home at all.

I'm imagining that my mother's funeral will probably be after mine, evil people tend to live a long time...maybe God is giving them more opportunity to come back to Him. I don't know.
But I am sure it will be no more fraught with difficulty than all the hurdles she placed before me, and perhaps I will finally be permitted to grieve for others during those times where she wholesale forbade, stopped or interfered negatively with those processes.
I know I am already grieving the mother I will never have, perhaps then I will grieve for the lost opportunities she has had.