Adoption Support Group
Adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with a parent or parents other than the birth parents. Whether you are looking to adopt, putting your child up for adoption, parenting an adopted child, or just thinking about it, this is the place to discuss.
ive asked myself everyday why my adopted parents even adopted me, if they were never going to treat me like i was there kid.. more so with the mom. today i was told that to go back to my country. they knew the background i came from, and still to this day i have never felt safe or protected.. i thought parents who adopt there kids are supposed to loved them unconditionally.. clearly thats not the case here.. they gave me up to the grandparents for years, while they kept my adopted brother at home with them..
to any parents that are reading this, please make sure to tell your kids how much you love them and treat them like they are your own!. you have no idea the pain this can cause us (me). i would give anything to actually feel loved for the first time.
Although I will never know exactly how you feel, I will share that I grew up with neglectful, absent parents who were always separating and tossing my sister and I back and forth between them. I would be lying if I didn't state that this impacted my confidence and feelings of self-worth - I have struggled with both all of my life.
I spent many years angry with my parents for not living up to the parenting ideal I believed should be my reality, and in the long run all that anger did was hurt me - it didn't erase the past or change them.
As I grew older, I was able to find friends that I had things in common with, and activities I was good at, and those things helped develop my sense of self worth and acceptance.
Now, as an adult and a parent, I channel that hurt and frustration into being the best parent I can be. I didn't know how to parent, obviously, so I had to learn how to do it in a way that allowed me to put my children first and learn how to empower them. That took active learning and then applying. But now I am a foster mother as well, hoping to love on children such as yourself whose parents might not be in a good place to parent, some of them even adoptive parents who tried to do the right thing going in.
I know you are hurting and I'm sorry. I hope I have given you some hopeful things to think about.