Adoption Support Group

Adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with a parent or parents other than the birth parents. Whether you are looking to adopt, putting your child up for adoption, parenting an adopted child, or just thinking about it, this is the place to discuss.

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To spank or not to spank

HeyNow
HeyNow
I am curious as to the opinions on the spanking subject on this group. I was spanked as a kid two or three times and I think I ended up okay. I certainly didn't do the dangerous things that caused me to get spanked in the first place and I think for serious injury type behavior it gets the point across. Let me be clear on my definition of spanking...I am talking about spanking a child's bottom with an open hand over their clothes (pants, etc.) and not at full force, just enough to get their attention. I have a lot of friends who use the time out method of discipline. It doesn't seem to work as a punishment. The kids don't care if they have to sit in a corner. Has anyone figured out a good middle ground method that gets the point across?
Jleemurpa
Jleemurpa
I will focus this at the behavior of my daughter when I adopted her. She was to old to spank and I didn't really give her timeouts. What I did was took those rewards away from her over a period of time to make life a little uncomfortable for her. For example I took her cell phone away. I cut off her allowance. I took the keys to her car and grounded her so she couldn't go out. I took away tv time and so on. Once her behavior got better I slowly gave these rewards back to her. For her this worked out really well and she was a young lady who, before she came to live with me, had a bio father who thought it was fun to punish her by putting out a cigarette on her arm.
ericgmeinder
ericgmeinder
I approve of spanking only if it is for the worst offenses and is not severe.
Mouse8844
Mouse8844
I was brought up with the threat of the smacking spoon however I dont agree it is necessary at all. Nobody deserves to be hit and spanking is as old now as the ruler being used as a form of punishment in schools. There are other ways to discipline your kids
lynnsollitto
lynnsollitto
I don't believe in spanking simply because it doesn't teach the child anything and it's ineffective. Having said that, I have been at my wit's end and spanked my children which is essentially how I know it doesn't work!
witchniche
witchniche
Lynn I liked your replied... been at my wits end...lol

my daughter is 3 and if she's headed for something dangerous (the stove, for example) where I need her swift attention, a quick swat on the fanny, does the trick... my daughter also has a habit of getting in to a frenzy at bedtime, putting on pajamas and has a tendency to kick me.. and a quick swat there does the trick too... it doesn't have to be brutal punishment in order to get her attention, just enough to say, hey snap out of this and let's go another direction...99% of the time, I use timeouts... she's 3, 3 minutes...
blondemamalove
blondemamalove
To be honest my husband and I were open to it because we had both been spanked a couple times growing up and didn't see anything wrong with it. I used it a few times on my kids and I felt horrible every time. I really don't feel it's necessary, timeouts and taking away privileges work just as well. The key is to follow through on your threats, if your always giving your kids empty threats they'll know they can get away with whatever without paying for the consequence. I am against spanking now, I've done a lot of reading and research and all signs point to no.