Adoption Support Group

Adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with a parent or parents other than the birth parents. Whether you are looking to adopt, putting your child up for adoption, parenting an adopted child, or just thinking about it, this is the place to discuss.

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Kahlua13
Kahlua13
My husband and I got custody of my son almost 8 years ago as foster parents. He was in and out of foster care the first 4 years of his life for severe neglect and abuse. 2 1/2 years of court before the parental rights were terminated and the adoption was final. We have had some issues as many of you know, but I love him with all of my heart. I just received an email today from DFYS that David's sister is now in foster care. My son has lit a candle for her for over 7 years every Sunday in church. I have not told him yet and will not say anything until I get more information. But I have emailed and called and I am praying that I can get her too. I would have taken her as well to keep them together all of those years ago, but she was sent back to live with the bio father. I am heart sick at what she probably went through all these years. But I will do whatever I can to help her at this point. So for her to come here and for us to be able to adopt her, at least she would know people who would love her. She would be with her brother. She would never have to be worried about being taken away again. I know I will probably have to deal with some serious issues. I will pray for God's help on that but I just so need to do this. So anyway, praying for the call that we can take custody of her. So everyone out there, please say a prayer for her and for my son and for my family that regardless, everything works out for the best.
deleted_user
deleted_user
this system sucks. i dont get it. but i am glad there are good people liek you and your husband
Kahlua13
Kahlua13
Thanks. I agree. Why weren't we called to foster her? I am angry with that. I can't say anything to my 11 year old son yet, as it will kill him. I can only imagine what this little girl has been through. He apparently now also has a younger brother and the current foster parents want to adopt him. He apparently has issues worse than my son due to everything he has been through.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It is so hard to find a family willing to take in siblings. It is hard enough to be separated from one's parents, but to be torn from our brothers and sisters can be unbearable and leave a child feeling utterly alone.

I am praying that that little girl can be with her brother again.

Best of luck :-*
Kahlua13
Kahlua13
Thank you so much for your prayers! I was told on Friday that I should not get my hopes up. I am rather devastated but trying to keep up a little hope and see what happens. I have no idea how long she has been in foster care at this point. I can only imagine what she has been through for the last 7 1/2 years! Apparently the Sussex County social workers don't communicate with the New Castle County social workers. It just stinks. I thought that they were supposed to be considering what the best situation is for the child? Apparently not. Anyway, as luck would have it, David's social worker is now his little brother's social worker, which is the only reason I found out about all of this in the first place. She is trying to track down the social worker in Sussex County to get the story and to put our 2 cents in (that I want to adopt her whatever I have to do.) It is a waiting game at this point.
Mouse8844
Mouse8844
You are a wonderful loving person and I applaude what u are trying to do.
All my prayers go with you and I hope that little girl can have a family that will love her.So wish that for all of you.
Kahlua13
Kahlua13
I was told the worst case has happened today. I had to pull over and just bawl for an hour as I could not drive. David's brother and sister were abused for several years, have been in and out of foster care. This includes now sexual abuse. (and this was an issue at my son's TPR hearings many years ago!) Originally, both children were placed together but had to be separated as David's sister was having sexual behavior with her little brother. Now both are TPR'd and in preadoptive foster homes and it is pretty much a Done Deal as both foster families have filed for adoption. My heart breaks as the system failed them so miserably. To think that she went through the last 7 years being abused. Sussex County KNEW that New Castle County DFYS was trying to TPR my son due to abuse, but gave the sister back anyway. We were never given an adoption to take either of the children. Why? Because it was 2 different counties! Children in this state have no rights. Now I am being told that I should be glad I did not get them. My son after all these years and years of counseling is now somewhat stable, and his sister and brother are really and truly so much more damaged than he ever was. How do I tell any of this to my 11 year old son? It will kill him. My heart breaks for those babies.