Adoption Support Group

Adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with a parent or parents other than the birth parents. Whether you are looking to adopt, putting your child up for adoption, parenting an adopted child, or just thinking about it, this is the place to discuss.

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reunion...

sunsets1386
sunsets1386
So I am meeting my birth father after bot knowing him all 25 years of my life. He is coming to visit me in a couple weeks. For the mist part I'm excited but I am having a bit of anxiety abt everything. What if I'm not what he expects me to be... ugh. Any success stories, or advice of any kind?!
deleted_user
deleted_user
You know...I just think I'd put this off till after the holidays.

This is going to be gut-wrenching...
sunsets1386
sunsets1386
He already got the tickets, its going to be okay, I think... just have no idea what to expect. No support from adoptive family.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Start off causal like a friendship. See what he has to say. Go to a coffee shop where you can get to know each other. Maybe he will tell you all you want to know with you not having to ask the questions.
Jleemurpa
Jleemurpa
The first time I met my father I was 24. Wow was I nervous and scared and had some of the same emotions as you do about if I would be a disappointment to him and if he would a disappointment to me.

I took my mom with me to help. We arranged our meeting at a restaurant for Sunday lunch. I also took the time to do up a book of pictures and other events from my life.

That first meeting was difficult. But we decided to take it slow and try and get to know each other.

Today we are close. We talk several times a week and he is the best grandfather to my three children.

My suggestion is to take it slow and be proud of who you are. Remember he had a part in making you who were are!
vectoman
vectoman
I don't think you should worry about whether you will meet his expectations.He must want to see you.I'mthinking he will be glad to meet you no matter what your succeses are.I doubt he has any plans of being critical of you.He is probably worried about what you think of him.Good luck.
deleted_user
deleted_user
the first meetings with both sides of my birth family went very well for all of us. and. my adoptive family eventually came around...i just had to remind them often that i loved them and i wasn't going anywhere.

i traded letters and phone calls for over a year with my birth mother's side of the family before i met anyone.

if i had to do it over again, i might have waited a little longer with my birth father...everything happened so fast.

but in both cases the results have been mostly very good.

there've been things to iron out...

but it's a strange situation, getting to know your 'family' as an adult.

and families are families...there are bound to be bumps in the road.

i would say...enjoy yourself and this 'honeymoon' period...and as for lasting relationships...just take it slow and try to balance your expectations with theirs wherever possible.

much love and luck!

xx, beep.