Adoption Support Group
Adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with a parent or parents other than the birth parents. Whether you are looking to adopt, putting your child up for adoption, parenting an adopted child, or just thinking about it, this is the place to discuss.
I am sure we have all had nightmares about losses that have happened or things we are afraid of. But has anyone had a nightmare about a loss that has not yet happened (and maybe never will, or not for a long time?) Some of these nightmares happen to me in broad daylight. IE: I think/feel like my mom dies and I just start bawling for no reason. Sometimes this happens to me at night and sometimes during the day and that feeling of loss is so real. That grief is so real at that moment. While we were foster parenting my son, I had nightmares that he would be taken away. The feelings are so intense and I sit there bawling and all I have to do is remind myself that none if it happened! I had lost my 13 year old dog 2 years ago from kidney failure and it just tore me up for so long. I fell in love with my new puppy, Kona, and ended up getting her, but keep having these feelings like I am going to lose her. This is not all of the time and don't think it is directly affecting my life, but I guess this "fear of losing those I love" can temporarily take over.
I have had these same feelings of loss and its very scary. I have an only child and there are times when I think that something bad is going to happen to her and that she is somehow going to taken away from me like death. Sometimes its not my daughter and its my husband. I have spoken to my therapist about this and she said that it can be one of two things. One it can be because I only have one child and that some parents develop a fear of losing that one child because in reality if that ever happens, its all over for them unless they adopt but losing your only biological child or any child is devastating which causes the reason for the fear, second, she said that it might also be from the abandonment issues that I have from being adopted, feelings of not having the "right" to be with your family, (from being denied growing up with your own biological family due to adoption) and the abandonment issue. My therapist says that we have to really try hard to keep these negative thoughts out of our minds and really strive to think more positively. She suggested yoga, meditation & prayer. We have to get in touch with our spiritual side and just live life because we have no control over what is going to happen to any of us. We have to live on with our lives and not focus on loss, focus on living and living to the best of your ability to making everyday a full day. And that is what I have been doing and I haven't thought about this until I read your post tonight! But thats okay because at least I was able to help another person today! Just start to think about the good things that you have in your life and how you can help others. Plan fun things and do something different something that you've never done before and be glad that you're here now. I hope this helps you and goodluck!
It is natural to miss a pet /family member you have had for 13 yrs.We have just been through the same type of experience. we had a tragedy where our pup who wasn't even two got killed by someone else's stupidity.We got a toy poodle and boy did I feel panicky about her.It is getting easier but as she is so small I take her with me when I go out.Got kicked out of shopping mall by a security guard today cause I had her with me.Very funny so I thought I'd pass that on.
Just control what you can and cope the best with what you can't..I have gotten better with this as kids have got older.I call it ME being paranoid but I still let them have lives even though sometimes it scares me.Conquer your fears and stay in control