Adoption Support Group
Adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with a parent or parents other than the birth parents. Whether you are looking to adopt, putting your child up for adoption, parenting an adopted child, or just thinking about it, this is the place to discuss.
Hello :) I am currently pregnant with my first child, which my husband and I are planning on keeping. But we also want to adopt. I am just looking for anyone who has gone through an adoption process and can point me in the right direction. We want our child to be a few years old before we adopt. But young enough that they can grow up together. We are not picky on race or age, we just want to open our home to a new family member. I know the process can take a while, so I figured we should start planning now. I just have no clue where to start! If you have adopted, I'd love to hear your story and advice :)
One of the things that many to most people do not realize is that it is challenging for an adopted child to grow up in a family in which he/she is the only adoptee-- where siblings were born to the parents and thus, share ancestral history. It is far easier for an adopted child to grow up with siblings who were also adopted.
Adoption is about finding the best family for a child who is need of a permanent family-- a family who does not imagine/believe/assume that they are "saving" or "rescuing" a child. No child wants or benefits from growing up in a family where he/she is the "family project" or has to be grateful for what every child deserves and should be able to take for granted-- a loving home.
You did not write about whether or not you are imaging yourselves adopting a White newborn infant, or are open to adopting the children who truly need advocacy-- children over the age of eight or so, sibling groups of 3 or more, children of color, children with significant special needs conditions. If its the latter, you would make terrific candidates. If its the former, you will be competing for the very few children who may become available, and the cost of contracting with service providers (adoption agencies, attorneys, so-called adoption facilitators may be something that you will need to think about.
International adoption-- once a faster route for people wishing to adopt young children-- is now more difficult, as well. There are not many healthy, young children available. Corruption has, fortunately, been exposed, and more stringent regulations enacted to protect children from being bought, sold, or stolen from their original parents for the purpose of satisfying an eager population of hopeful adoptive parents.
Why not consider becoming foster parents? If your desire is to help children who need loving caregivers, that would be something I would encourage you to think about. It is also a great way to learn first-hand what it means to be involved in raising children who have been separated from their original parents. Good luck!