My first round of IVF worked in August but at 6 weeks pregnant I miscarried. For the last month or so I have been carefully thinking of my next plan of action and with a click of my fingers I'm ready to adopt and with another I'm back to ivf.
I live in England so have to wait until February 18 to even start the process, which is fine. However I am lost as to what to do, I had a horrible time with IVF and ended up in hospital for days and was very ill, not to mention how intense the whole process was and I am not 100% sure I want to do this again. physically and mentally this has almost destroyed me, but I know adoption will also be a hard process to go through.
If i was to pay to have another go I would in roughly £10,000 worth of debt, and I would then struggle to meet the financial critia to adopt. Having fertility issues seems like the end of the world, losing my positive was horrendous but the worse thing I can imagine to happen right now is to have another failed round of ivf and then be refused tha ability to adopt due to money. That would be the worse by far.
I would give my all to adopt, but deciding to give up on ivf is proving a hard decision for both myself and partner. We are both very open to adoption though, and would love to be a family to a child in need. Biology means almost nothing to both of us.
Having a really hard couple of months constantly thinking about my future.
I feel so alone and I know people are there but still. I just need someone to talk to. I love talking to people becuase it makes me forget that I'm having any trouble. So... I just wanna talk.
I'm feeling so lonely lately even though I've taken steps to be more social. I wish this evening I could get together with a good friend and we could sit at a cafe somewhere or at a diner and drink a nice cup of hot coffee together and chit chat. That would be so nice to have right now.