Adoption Support Group
Adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with a parent or parents other than the birth parents. Whether you are looking to adopt, putting your child up for adoption, parenting an adopted child, or just thinking about it, this is the place to discuss.
My first round of IVF worked in August but at 6 weeks pregnant I miscarried. For the last month or so I have been carefully thinking of my next plan of action and with a click of my fingers I'm ready to adopt and with another I'm back to ivf.
I live in England so have to wait until February 18 to even start the process, which is fine. However I am lost as to what to do, I had a horrible time with IVF and ended up in hospital for days and was very ill, not to mention how intense the whole process was and I am not 100% sure I want to do this again. physically and mentally this has almost destroyed me, but I know adoption will also be a hard process to go through.
If i was to pay to have another go I would in roughly £10,000 worth of debt, and I would then struggle to meet the financial critia to adopt. Having fertility issues seems like the end of the world, losing my positive was horrendous but the worse thing I can imagine to happen right now is to have another failed round of ivf and then be refused tha ability to adopt due to money. That would be the worse by far.
I would give my all to adopt, but deciding to give up on ivf is proving a hard decision for both myself and partner. We are both very open to adoption though, and would love to be a family to a child in need. Biology means almost nothing to both of us.
Having a really hard couple of months constantly thinking about my future.
Not that I’m looking at adoption as an “easy” process, but none of us hope to be parents because we think it will be easy.
We’ve had two failed transfers this year and they have almost broken me. The injections were a dream compared to the heart wrenching loss of a failed transfer. I can’t imagine the pain of having a successful transfer but then miscarriage.
The unpredictability of IVF is really wearing on me and I’m wondering if adoption is for us. We always said we would have our one NHS IVF treatment and leave it. We have some more frozen embryos waiting but at the minute, they feel like a false hope to me. I’ve never felt like I had to be pregnant and have always been open to adoption but felt I might regret not trying IVF as it was available to us.
How are you coming all my with your decision?
Deciding to give up trying to conceive over pursuing adoption isn't an easy decision. But, for me, it was a great decision made. Take care!