"I am very, very sorry! I am very sorry that you suffer and have suffered so much!! It’s good that you are aware that counseling exists and that you are trying it. I will pray for you that God helps you a lot. Even if you would call yourself “not a religious person,” you can still call out to God for help. There is sin in all places. There is suffering too everywhere. I hope that God gives you all the help that you need. You are someone who matters a lot and I know with certainty that God is not happy about all the evil that takes place. (“The Lord saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time. And the Lord regretted that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was deeply troubled. – Genesis 6:5-6) Do all that you can to keep yourself safe and well. God sees everything and He made you. You are a valuable human being. I pray that God blesses you a lot."

Can you completely disassociate from them.? Live in a different area. Give yourself a new name ? It can be legally changed can't it ? Wipe them out of your life and make a new one if possible. Why would you ever want to be around them for any reason .Move forward and don't look back. Make new life memories with good decent people. It's not worth the pain anymore. So sorry for you. So unfair. There are good people out there.

May I ask how long you have been part of this family? At what age were you adopted, and are you over 18 now? Not to be nosey, but this little bit of information would help to provide some further support and encouragement regarding options available to you.

I have been where you are. Same story different details. I suspected, but did not know for sure I was adopted until I was 60 last year. Before then: abuse, abuse ,abuse. What has helped me is to no longer allow my adopted family to control me. To do this, all communication with them has been severed, and I will not let them suck me back into their insane drama. If they are unwilling or unable to give you dignity and respect, why put up with their abuse? You are a beautiful human being and you deserve to be respected. You cannot change the abusers. I tried, it doesn't work. I know all about the lies, and coverup-especially "believing" their biological son and saying lies about you, and this eats at your soul. If the counseling you are doing now isn't working, try someone or something else. You do have the strength inside you to not only survive, but live and enjoy your life. Don't let them take that away from you. I know you posted a long time ago, but I just joined. And I joined so I could reply to you.Keep your chin up and keep moving forward. Whatever it takes, and remember, your co-adoptees love you.

It really is frustrating when people lie about us. My mother is the same way. I learned that the others in our family may have listened to her but they did not believe her because she has been that way her whole life. The people that know her know she is self-centered and dishonest. When I realized this it actually gave me some form of relief at the time.

I have gotten older and realized that people can say and do whatever they want. I cannot control what others do but I can control how I react and how much negative energy I allow them to have in my mind.

Things have a way of catching up with us. For some all the pain and suffering we have gone through leads to better self-understanding and good karma and for others well... as the saying goes... karma is a bitch

Update. 6 weeks ago I found a diary written by my adoptive father spanning 10 years full of hate and disgust against me! So I ran away. I knew this along time ago that he never loved me. Hitting and kicking me as a tiny child down the stairs. I trashed their house when I found the diary out of anger and dispair and they said I'm not welcome there any more...saying that to me is not surprising nor am I offended. I took all my personal files and papers and my son's files ect belongings and left dog shit in the basement. Hershey squirt dog poop n I did not care or think to clean it up after reading hatred against me. Especially in the last ten years. I saved a man's life and was maliciously attacked by over 200+ people for sticking up for what is right. **While going through my documents today I found pieces of paper written from my adoptive mother against me and general negative judgemental written statements of my behavoir she does not approve of. In some of the written notes is says: "Teena was making faces at me and frusterating me so I grounded her...she ran away". Lmao. Of course I ran away. They're evil psycho people. I had no shoes and no food and I would run away on the streets of red deer Alberta and I'm surprised I was never murdered or vanished ect. The notes are offensive and appalling but now I know I'm right about these people. They offered no encouragement no understanding throughout my entire life. Just negative bitch judgemental ignorant insensitive rude arrogant nonchalance of evilness. I was badly abused by them both and their biological family members. I come from Saskatchewan. I was adopted in 1980 at 3 months old. I was abused, rejected, neglected, and abandoned by these people constantly and never ceasing they lie. I have told councillors over the years. Apparently I have no credibility. Which I should. I do not have a criminal record and I have references saying I am beautiful and a wonderful person. I ran away and am currently in a hotel with just my clothes. I choose not to go back to these people. I will keep trying to get away from them. The story is horrific. They still have access to my son. I need him to get away from these abusive people. I have written my native Indian band and expressed the truth about this situation with a limited response. My councillor knows these things and has chosen to keep silent which I disagree with him. I will continue to speak the truth and express my situation. Unfortunately this is not the first case of a situation like mine. Finding awful written evil things against me from people that were supposed to keep me safe and nurture me is gross and I do not even have the proper words to speak of how disgusted I am with these people. They say they love Jesus and God is with them. I'm just glad to finally get away from them. I lost a my personal belongings. I have no furniture or damage deposit. I will have to use Aish money to try to pay for my own place. Oh yeah. My adoptive mother finally admitted she lied to me about signing the papers against my knowledge and will to put me on assured income for the severely handicapped in 2013 and she apologized. She won't tell anyone that. That's what she did. She also lies to my face and says she doesn't gossip but finding written notes condemning me for my childish behavoir of anger in a non violent way all throughout my life proves differently for my personal opinion and I remain knowing the exact same thing...these people are legit fkd in the head. Thank you for all your kind words and stories ect. I'm trying to stay away and do my own thing.

Teesweety35, I am so sorry that you had a terrible childhood. It is time for you to consider yourself Family Free! You are now free to CHOOSE your own family. This new family will consist of friends and people that love you for who you are! The Best is yet to come! Head high, smile as big as the sky! Slam Shut, that door to the past. A window has already been opened for YOU! Have faith.

I am so sorry.

But know that you are not alone! there are several adoption support groups on facebook and elsewhere.

Adoption sucks for many who live with it, even though the world at lareg glamorizes and promotes it as a win-win.

I was getting along with my ex mom but she said awful false accusations from the pit of hell against me so I blocked her off completely. Im becoming closer to my goal of permanently leaving this stupid family. I really am not interested in a support group on facebook sorry. Thanks for your suggestion. Im listening to everyones suggestions and I appreciate your concerns, suggestions, and encouragement. I believe that me blocking and setting up boundaries with these psycho's will help me. I am trying to run far away and Im closer and closer everyday. Soon I will be able to never be found by these evil demonic family bitches. Forever.

How old are you now? Old enough to leave and never look back?

That's what your going to have to do. And then, make you realize that they were the messed up ones, not you. And don't let it effect and ruin the rest of your life. That's going to be a very important step, ok?