To preface my question, I was adopted at birth, close adoption, to a financially well off couple in their 40s, who already had a daughter and needed to adopt bc my mother could not conceive another child and thought that one more child would complete their family. After bankruptcy of a business and personal belongings at age six I learned my parents relationsh was deeply flawed. My father was an abusive, only to +y mother, alcoholic gambling drug addict, functiona though, and my mother eventually left him ten years later. My question, or concern is, my mother all my li has ingrained into me the importance of looks and status over any internal value in people and especiall myself. I never tookto these beliefs as my sister did and moved out when i was 17. I had no help from anyone ever, and am now temporarily back at my moms. It's just as it was when i was a teenager, but worse. My therapist told me since she no longer had my father to belittle and attack she transfered that onto me. I recently found and met my biological parents in California, it was an amazing experience as i had never known anything about them until a year ago. I couldn't talk to anyone in my adoptive family aboit this bc they tesponded with anger or sadness. I recently moved to ca to work for my biologucal father, I was obviously filling a void and it didnt work out. I'm currently staying with my mom til I could get enough money saved but it has been hell. I found out my biogical nother wrote me lett3rs for 4 years and stopped bc she never heard back. I realize now how fearful my mom was of us finding eachother. She told me when i moved out there she loved me and my home was always with my adoptive family. Well, since I've been back all ive heard was how stupid and fat and disgusting i am, -o one will want to marry me or give me a job, I'm jealous of my bulemic sisyer, etc. As much as I know these things are not true, its hurtful and suffocating, I rarely see her bc I work three jpbs, but she will go out of her way to hurt me. can anyone give me advice? She will not listen to my pleas for acceptable communcation. I've wanted to tell her thank you for letting me stay in her home but we never even talk bc it slways ends up in her screaming at me.