Adoption Support Group
Adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with a parent or parents other than the birth parents. Whether you are looking to adopt, putting your child up for adoption, parenting an adopted child, or just thinking about it, this is the place to discuss.
I'm 3 months pregnant right now. I'm 22 years old and engaged. I've been with the father for 3 years and while I love him very much, our relationship has had some serious ups and downs. He was abusive for a while, I lashed back, then we both tried to get ourselves together and work it out, which has been great for the last year or so, but now we are becoming increasingly dysfunctional again and frankly, his abusive ways are returning. Whenever we fight, he tells me to just forget about him and find someone else to help me raise the baby and that I'll be just fine going that route only to later take the statement back and pretend he never said it.
He's currently on a vacation with his parents and I haven't heard a thing in days. They left me to take care of his grandmother and the house while I'm throwing up everyday and exhausted from the pregnancy, without support or communication. I feel at the end of my rope right now.
I have zero support whatsoever in general, haven't completed my degree, was recently laid off and am finding it difficult to find a job and with my credit being completely trashed by a "friend" that opened up two credit cards in my name, maxed them out and I never knew until I tried taking a loan out. I feel that I can not provide the life I want for my child especially with a growing depression and anxiety problem that I have yet to get under control.
I got pregnant on birth control and it has completely turned my world upside down. While I am pro-choice, I am personally against abortion concerning myself so I am seriously considering adopting my child out. I found a truly amazing couple in Arizona that I completely fell in love with, and am absolutely confident they will be wonderful parents to raise my baby.
But now I'm in a place where whenever I think about placing my baby for adoption, I turn into a horrible, conflicted, crying mess. I'm debating whether I can make it work as a single mom, and still build myself into a happy and successful person that is capable of raising a child, and whether I can find someone that I actually can have a healthy family with that will accept my baby as well or if adoption is the route I really should take. I'm literally torn right now and don't have anyone to really talk to.
He's currently on a vacation with his parents and I haven't heard a thing in days. They left me to take care of his grandmother and the house while I'm throwing up everyday and exhausted from the pregnancy, without support or communication. I feel at the end of my rope right now.
I have zero support whatsoever in general, haven't completed my degree, was recently laid off and am finding it difficult to find a job and with my credit being completely trashed by a "friend" that opened up two credit cards in my name, maxed them out and I never knew until I tried taking a loan out. I feel that I can not provide the life I want for my child especially with a growing depression and anxiety problem that I have yet to get under control.
I got pregnant on birth control and it has completely turned my world upside down. While I am pro-choice, I am personally against abortion concerning myself so I am seriously considering adopting my child out. I found a truly amazing couple in Arizona that I completely fell in love with, and am absolutely confident they will be wonderful parents to raise my baby.
But now I'm in a place where whenever I think about placing my baby for adoption, I turn into a horrible, conflicted, crying mess. I'm debating whether I can make it work as a single mom, and still build myself into a happy and successful person that is capable of raising a child, and whether I can find someone that I actually can have a healthy family with that will accept my baby as well or if adoption is the route I really should take. I'm literally torn right now and don't have anyone to really talk to.
oceanwinds
The nature of parenting follows a course of joy, proud moments of accomplishments, inconveniences and lousy timing also known as unplanned. For now, you are experiencing those last two. Further you are distracted by taking care of an elderly person, puking, and potential abandonment of the infants dad. This is clouding your judgment. Therefore stay as far away from an adoption agency. Instead, walk or find resources to give you the assistance that you are entitled to. As a student, you can probably get almost free tuition and child care. Babies do not need a decorated nursery and wont know their mother is poor in those first five years. So you definitely can do this. There is a success story here, where the mother changed her mind and the prospective adoptive mother was mourning due to the other losses in her life. This is why you must stay away from those agencies. If you do, they wont call you mother but instead birthmother and you do not want to be around that type of brainwashing. Realize too, adoptive families can still divorce, have mental illness, and have bankruptcies.etc. They can never prove your baby will have a better life but you definitely can.
fourthdb
This is a huge decision to make. And one that you should take your time to consider. There is no real right or wrong answer just what is best for you personally. I've known people that were adopted as babies and their parents in my personal set of friends and they are so happy with the life they have. I also know broke, but happy, single moms and single dads. The only advise I would give for sure would be to get away from the abusive relationship. No matter what he says right now, if someone was abusive before they will be again. and as you get farther along, or after the baby is born it will only get worse. Money issues and fear can cause people to do some really scary things you would never have thought them capable of. Call a hotline or find some assistance and get moved as soon as you can. You can make a much better decision about your life and your baby once you are out of the relationship and on your own two feet.
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