people dont understand international adoption - especially being adopted from China.
it is hard all adoptees have at least 3 abandonment stories and then sometimes 4..
let me explain
1 we were born and abandoned by mom
2 we were born and abandoned by dad
3 we were adopted and abandoned by our caretakers
___________ Those three all adoptees have experienced
This one is a little different ... multicultural adoptees face this a lot...
4 We were adopted and forced to abandon our culture (some families dont geuninly celebrate culture)
sometimes it doesnt feel like i've abandoned my culture or my country - it feels like i was forced to by two forces .
first: my country hated me - true or not it certainly feels that way when a whole contry and gov. hates you or tells your birth family to hate you because of your gender
second: my adoptive family never really embraced my culture - they never took us to Chinese holiday at my adoption center because it costed like 5-10$ a person and they didnt want to pay ... they taught me fortune cookies and lunar new year was the Chinese culture. and made me choose. i can be chinese american OR polish American but i cant be both.. but i think i am both
even in my adoptive family we celebrate polish holidays - we celebrate polish Christmas sing StoLat drink to Zdrowie drink Brandy like there's no tomorrow during celebration and eat polish food (not that im saying polish food is bad... i get the REAL stuff! )
But i dont understand why i was never allowed to celebrate and / or eat foods from my culture - my family says they dont like Chinese food and dont do those things with us. I understand why i celebrate polish holiday but i also know that I am not really polish.
Its not that I'm 100% Chinese and that I should act like an asain Chinese girl - its that even families that have come to America from different cultures i.e., like my family my mom is generation zero in America -- they still celebrate their holidays in order to keep their identity and family bonds, to keep who they are and remember where they have come from and where they are going.
I guess i want to learn to appreciate my culture of origin and learn to celebrate chinese culture as a way of being part of my identity and to remember where i have come from and where i am going .
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Before I go into my issue, here's a little backstory. Adoptive mom and maternal bio grandmother met in mid 80s in hospital. Became best friends. Adoptive mom helped finish raising my bio mom and aunt. Bio dad died 6months before my birth. I have an older bio brother, who's 2 years older. 4 older adoptive siblings. Bio mom was in and out of my life until I was 20 (almost 8 years...